▶ Your Answer :
It is always an issue, whether it is good to stick to your challenging dreams or to focus on fulfilling practical dreams. We face a lot of moments when we have to choose between these two options. It is never an easy decision to make. However, I have one choice. (Which stance do you take?) I believe people should stick to their challenging dreams for two reasons. Admittedly, many people think we are living in a harsh time that we should focus on fulfilling practical dreams. However, we can become more successful and even when we fail, we can still learn from the experience. Hence, people should do their best to overcome the difficulties and try to achieve their dreams. (This paragraph is also included in introduction? Then, never separate these two) To start the argument, I believe that people can become more successful by sticking to their challenging dreams. When the dream is more challenging, we are more required to put effort for it. (Try " The more~, The more~ grammar here ") When the dream is practical, we might become lazy or feel comfortable, leading to less effort. For example, Yuna Kim, the Korean Olympic medalist, has been struggling to become the best ice figure skater in the world. She has been practicing day and night to overcome the weaknesses she has. She wouldn’t have become the best in the world with practical dreams like just being the best in South Korea or in her town. Hence, I think that people should have more challenging dreams and stick to it. On top of that, even when people fail from their challenging dreams, they can still have opportunities to learn from the failure and become a better person. All the famous CEOs, scientists, athletes, singers weren’t in their top position in the first place. For example, even Steve Jobs, the founder of Apple, have been evicted from his own company once. However, he didn’t stop from one failure. He returned and became more successful, becoming one of the most influencing person at that time. Even though the challenging dreams do not guarantee success, people will learn from life lesson and every experience. Hence, people should never hesitate to have more challenging dreams. In conclusion, I believe human beings are meant to have dreams. Although the economic crisis and stagnations might make people feel scared and make them feel to have a practical and safe dream, we should always struggle and never stay still.
채점기준표 | Grammar | Contents | Example | Coherence | 점수 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 3 | Score | Fair 18-22 | - 문장구조가 다소 어색한 부분이 있지만, 대체적으로 글이 일관성이 있고 예시가 좋은 편입니다.
|
|