▶ Your Answer : While Ssome people argue that the best ability that teachers should require is to provide a great class for the students. However, I do not think that this is the only abilty that teachers must have. They also need to give good advice to the students. This is because students need guidance from people that who are more experienced and older. Ssecond, by giving good advice, students can retain a better relationship with their teachers.
First, students, especially high school students, that need to decide on their majors in university, needs guidance from those who have went through the same problem. Students normally get advice from friends and parents. However, in the case of university entrance and their plans for further education, students prefer to get advice from their teachers who have seen many students entering universities each year. It would be preferable for the teachers to have an ability to give excelant excellent advice for their students on these challenges that they encounter throughout their high school life. Statistics gathered from Seoul National university indicates that among 2000 high school students, 60% of the students listened to practical advices that their school teachers have given to them gave them. The reason was that students thought they were reliable in that they have helped many students to decide on their majors.
Second, students can have a better relationship with their teachers when the teachers give advice and help. Many students these days encounter problems such as on their relationship between with their friends and family problems, and concerns about other problems regarding their futures.(여기서 parallel structure를 써줘야 해요.) While they spend most of their time in school, teachers' advice and help to resolve these problems allow students to trust their teachers and also allows them to build a stronger relationship with the their teachers. This is very important because school is not only there to enhance students' academic performances but also to help them learn things through social relationships. In my case, I struggled to decide on my subject between history and economy. This was an important decision as I had to study the chosen subject for 2 years. Thus, I went to the school library to see my economics teacher to and get advice. Her advice, now that I think of it, was very useful and also helped me to feel closer to other teachers as well.
The reasons stated above explains why I believe that advice from teachers are very important to students. In this regard, I believe teachers should not only be skilled at teaching, but also have the ability to provide good advice.
[Score] 22-23
[Feedback]
- 단수 복수 수 일치 주의하세요. Ex. their 다음에는 복수, its 다음에는 단수를 써줘야해요. - Parallel Structure를 꼭 써주세요. Ex. their relationship with friends and family, and other problems ~. (명사 ~, and 명사~.) - 에세이 flow는 매우 자연스럽고 좋았습니다.
수고하셨습니다.
|