어려워서 agree and disagree 둘다 짧게 썼어요.
To some extent, employees who always follow their manager's instructions are more valuable to their companies. However, this does not mean that employees should always follow senior's instructions as creativeness is also very significant for companies.
First, team works are is important when operating a company. A company cannot work on his its own, but requires many workers that have the same objectives to achieve. The workers would face the same challenges and problems that they need to face together. Therefore, being on one's own and trying to create new ideas will not be helpful because diversity incoherence in a company would distort the general view of the workers and also make things complicated.
However, these days, where trends and fashions are changing rapidly, companies should try to invent new ideas to successfully achieve their goals. This is the reason why many companies look for workers that are creative and ask them specific questions to examine their creativeness in their job interviews. A brand new idea that customers enjoy will help a company to gain large amount of money revenue that they wouldn't have gotten with a banal idea.
The reasons stated above explain why companies require those who follow instructions well, but also sometimes those that are also creative.
[Score] 24-25
[Feedback]
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단수 복수 수 일치 주의하세요. - 단어를 쓸 때 정확한 뜻을 알고 어떤 것을 표현할 때 써야 하는지 공부하시 면 더 자연스러운 표현이 나올 거 같아요.
Ex. 위에 너무 많은 다양성을 가진 사람들이 있다면 회사가 잘 안돌아 갈 것이라고 쓰고 싶을 때는 diversity in a company 보다 incoherence in a company가 더 자연스러워요.
- 그리고 agree 아니면 disagree 한 개를 택해 쓰는게 더 나아요.
수고하셨습니다.
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