Some people argue that one should let others know about his strengths so that others are supportive and helpful. However, I do not think this is always the case. First, one can gain stress from expectations that others have on him or her. Also, success comes from one's own constant effort and not from others.
First, people often get stressed due to expectations that others have of them. When people realize that those surrounding around them have expectations for greater accomplishment, this in turn can become a burden for them. Stress is always considered as an obstacle for succeeding and therefore, stress that people gain from others would rather deter them from success.
Second, success do not come from others but it is from one's own efforts and zeal. It is never the people around that helps and spoon feeds one to succeed. It is the responsibilty of the person who wants to succeed to try their best. Whether others know about the person's previous achievements is (복수인가요?... 문법(is 맞습니다) not important.
The reasons stated above explains why I disagree with the given statement.
[Score] 25-26 [Feedback] - 문장의 흐름/ 구조/ 아이디어/ 문법적표현/ 어휘 모두 좋습니다. 그럼에도 불구하고 만점에 가까운 점수를 드리지 못한 이유는 글이 너무 간결합니다. Supporting ideas와 example을 추가한다면 29-30까지 노려볼 수 있을 것 같네요. 수고하셨어요~^^ |