▶ Your Answer :
People have different ideas on whether
succeeding in the past was easier than it is today. In my opinion, it was much easier to success in the past than now. There are two reasons to support my idea.
Most
of all, in the past, it was far less competitive than today. For example, there
are a number of university graduates because most people are eager to be
educated. Since almost everyone is highly educated, they have to do more and
more extra works to probe they are better candidates than others. This way, it
is getting more and more competitive so that people have to put a huge amount
of effort to thrive in one field. Therefore, it is much more difficult to
success nowadays than the past. (이를 뒷받침하는 Example 작성 해 주세요)
Moreover, there are fewer opportunities now than older times. In the
past, the world, especially Korea, was in the progress of developing the
country. This means there was a lot of work to do, and people were needed to
do the works.(어떤 Works인지 구체적으로 작성해주세요) And People could succeed easily over the numerous opportunities
that they could get during the period. However, there are much less work in
need of man-power. Thus, people do not have as many chances as before; right now, the people in their early twenties are facing the highest rate of unemployment rate. Therefore, it is hard to be successful during current times compared to the past.
In conclusion, I agree with the statement that says “To succeed in
the past was easier than it is today.” There were two reasons. One is that it
is much more competitive nowadays, and the other is that there are less
opportunities. Success is always the hard one to get in all times, but it is
more difficult to achieve nowadays than before.
Writing 0–30 score scale: Limited (1-16) / Fair (17-23) / Good (24–30)
ADDRESSING TOPIC
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ORGANIZATION
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PROGRESSION AND COHERENCE
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LANGUAGE USE
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GRAMMAR
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GOOD
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GOOD
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FAIR
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FAIR
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FAIR
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각 카테고리별 SCORE: LIMITED / FAIR / GOOD
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- 내용 속 논리의 흐름은 좋으나 이를 구체적으로 뒷받침하는 explanation / examples 들을 제시해주세요. |