▶ Your Answer :
People have different ideas on whether
doing like others do is better to succeed than doing differently from others. (주제 문장 그대로 사용 지양해주시고 paraphrase해 주세요) In my opinion, doing differently from others is much more successful than
repeating others. There are some reasons for it.
Most
of all, people can enjoy their works better when they do something on their own
than following others’ ways. There is a good example for it. When I was in high
school, I used to do the club activity which was making flower decorations. The
teacher of the club always gave us strict guides to make them and made us
repeat after her. Everyone in the club, including me, could not enjoy it at all
and felt bored. One day, the teacher was absent for some reason and we could do
the work on our own ways. That day, we felt so amused by doing the activity on
our own ways, and many of us made great pieces. Most of us said that it was the
best day among the whole club activity times. As my example shows, people can have much more
fun when they do something differently while it is so tedious to imitate what
others do. (창조하는 기쁨과 관련하여 조금 더 elaborate해 주세요: 스스로 만들게 되면서 다양한 시도를 할 수 있게 되고 이런 점이 더욱 서프라이즈한 결과물을 만든다 등)
Furthermore, by doing differently from others,
one can improve his or her creativity. Originality is highly valued nowadays, and following others do not help people to be creative. To conceive novel ideas,
it is essential to do something differently from others.
+ 이를 뒷받침하는 구체적인 예시/증거/설명을 보충해주세요.
In
summary, I disagree that doing like others do is better worse to succeed than doing
differently from others. Two reasons were mentioned above to support my
opinion. One was that people can enjoy their works better. The other was that
the one can improve his or her creativity when doing something on their own. For
these reasons, it is better to succeed when people do something differently
than doing like others.
Writing 0–30 score scale: Limited (1-16) / Fair (17-23) / Good (24–30)
ADDRESSING TOPIC
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ORGANIZATION
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PROGRESSION AND COHERENCE
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LANGUAGE USE
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GRAMMAR
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FAIR
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FAIR
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FAIR
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GOOD
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FAIR
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각 카테고리별 SCORE: LIMITED / FAIR / GOOD
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- 주장에 있어서 template을 활용하는 것은 좋으나 고른 이유에 대한 구체적이고 충분한 설명 (단순히 '창의력을 기른다' 가 아닌 'trial and error를 거친 뒤에 생각하는 힘으로 고유의 창작물을 만들 수 있다' 처럼 구체적이고 상세하게 표현해주세요) |