▶ Your Answer :
Some people might say that raising children these days is easier compared to the past. However, in my opinion, it is rather difficult for parents nowadays to support their children for two reasons. First, parents at today rarely have time to be with their children since they have to earn money. Second, children are getting more education and extracurricular activities than those from previous generations, and this can put a lot of pressure on the parents financially. is required for today’s children to learn more education than children in the past so that parents living in today have financial pressure.
To start with, in an attempt to make a living, parents nowadays have to work hard and thus they do not have enough time to talk and play with their children. To be specific, parents spend most of their time on working in the office, so that their opportunities to develop a relationship with their children decrease. Thus, they have a serious problem bringing up the children than the past. For example, I will talk about myself and my parents to elucidate my point. When I was young, my parents always had to work to support my family, so we didn't really have a chance to develop a good relationship. In even holidays Even on holidays, my father would occasionally go to his company office to complete his tasks. My parents sometimes told me how sorry they were for not being able to take care of me. said to me sorry for not take care for me well and this unfavorable relationship continued until I graduating college when I understood my parent situation. Our bad relationship continued until I graduated from college when I finally came to understand their struggles.
On top of that, meeting up with social demands in the present days, children are required to receive higher quality of education. In other words, parents have to invest a significant amount of money for their children's education. Thus, parents have a lot of pressure not only mentally but also physically. For instance, South Korea, where almost every child goes to at least one private institute or cram school, the cost of sending kids to such institutes is very high. I will take my country Korea as an example. In the past, a minority of children received private educations, but now it is different. Almost every child goes to the academy for additional study. Those activities cost a lot so it lead to financial problems. frequently causes economic predicament for parents. Some parents even take a loan to afford it. Therefore, some parents today eventually have to take out a loan. This example demonstrates the hardship of today’s parents.
To sum up, parents these days carry too much burden to raise their children. there are a lot of burden to parent in order to raise their children considering two facts. First, there are many parents who are not able to spend enough time not having sufficient time with their kids. in the current days. Also, education costs too much money these days. educating their children at present requires diverse educations so it gives a lot of burden to parents. In this regard, I believe that raising children has become more difficult than before.
Writing Score (0-30): 18 Score(0-5): 2.75 Grammar: 기본적인 문법 실력이 좋으신 것 같아요. 하지만 수의 일치에 주의 하시고 문장 쓰실 때 너무 길게 쓰는 것 보다는 두 문장으로 나눠서 쓰면 훨씬 이해하기 쉬울 것 같아요. 수고하셨습니다. |