▶ Your Answer :
Undoubtedly, teachers’ opinion plays a
significant role in people’s daily lives in many places where they work or
play. Some people think that students should not be exposed to teachers’ opinions
on social and political issues in class, while others do not. Both sides may
have their reasons to support their views. On the other hand, iIf I had to
choose one, I would say that teachers’ opinion should be prohibited from being conveyed to students.
There are several reasons as follows.
To begin with, students who are exposed to
teachers’ opinion can obtain biased information. Generally, most of people
including teachers have their own belief, thoughts, and views. When students are
exposed to people’s opinion, it is likely to bring a bad result. 어떤 점에서 안 좋은 편향된 정보를 갖게 되는지를 먼저 1-2문장 정도 설명하고 사례를 연결해주면 더 좋을 것 같아요. For instance,
when my brother was in a middle school, he was interested in the society class.
The society subject teacher tended to argue his own political opinion that
blamed the current president’s policy during his class. As a result, my younger
brother imitated his own thought and behavior, but he didn’t know well about
the current president’s policy. He just condemned the president for fun. I warned
to my brother, and explained accurately to him about the current policy. He has
changed little by little and he realized that those behaviors without an accurate
knowledge are very bad. This indicates that teachers’ personal opinion negatively
affects students.
On top of that, students who think thought by
themselves without teachers’ opinion can cultivate important qualifications needed
for success. If the students consider social and political issue by themselves,
they realize them to think critically on the topic. When this ability is
fulfilled, this trend has been likely to improve their ability. 교사가 자신의 정치/사회적 관점을 수업시간에 피력하면 학생들이 비판적인 사고가 어려워진다는 점을 강조하면 더 좋을 것 같아요. For instance, Seoul
National University (SNU) found a tremendous difference between two groups of
young students. One group was composed of those who were exposed to teachers’
views in class, and the other group was made up of those who were not. The researcher
found that the latter was more likely to express their opinion than the former.
Compared to the former students, the latter group tended to be more critical, active
and creative. This implies that students should not be exposed to teachers’
opinion.
All things considered, I firmly believe
that teachers’ opinion has a negative impact on students’ personal thoughts.
However, sStudents can develop their abilities without exposure to teachers’ opinion.
All in all, this trend will continue and pass down to the next generations.
Comment :
학생들이 편향된 정보만 전달받을 수 있다는 점이나 비판적/창의적인 사고가 어려워진다는 점을 들어 입장을 잘 피력해주셨어요. 사례로 바로 넘어가기 전에 주장에 대한 구체적인 설명을 활용하면 단계적 논리 구성을 보여줄 수 있다면 논리면에서 유리하니 참고해주세요. 본론1의 사례 내용이 무비판적으로 편향된 정보를 받아들였다는 점에서 본론2에 나오는 '비판적 사고능력'과 내용이 겹칠 수 있으니 두 본론 내용을 명확히 구분지을 수 있게끔 흐름을 다듬는 것도 좋을 것 같습니다. 전체적으로 깔끔하게 잘 구성해주신 것 같아요. 수고 많으셨습니다~! Independent Writing Rubrics Score 4/5 An essay at this level largely accomplishes all of the following : - Addresses the topic and task well, though some points may not be fully elaborated (문제의 요구사항을 대부분 잘 해결함) - Displays unity, progression and coherence, though connection of ideas may be occasionally obscured (문맥이 모호한 부분들이 있을 수 있으나 통일성, 연속성, 일관성이 어느 정도 드러남) - Displays unity, progression and coherence, though it may contain occasional redundancy, digression, or unclear connections (중복된 내용이나 관련 없는 내용, 불분명한 연결이 있을 수 있으나 통일성, 연속성, 일관성이 드러남)
- Displays facility in the use of language, demonstrating syntactic variety and range of vocabulary, though it will probably have occasional noticeable minor errors in structure, word form or use of idiomatic language that do not interfere with meaning (글의 의미를 손상시키지 않는 범위 내에서 사소한 문장구조, 단어 형태 오류를 보일 수 있으나, 전반적으로 어휘・통사적 다양성을 갖춘 유창한 언어 사용을 보임) |