The reading passage claims that archaeology in England is now facing a severe crisis. However, the speaker contradicts the reading with opposing views.
To begin with, while the reading passage argues that changes in population dynamics and rapid development have caused destruction of archaeological remains and artifacts, the speaker actually points out that companies are now very careful not to damage archaeological sites. This is because they are required to pay money for destruction of artifacts during development. 인구변화와 빠른 성장을 근거로 제시한 reading과 기업의 노력을 반박근거로 제시한 lecture가 자연스럽게 연결되지 않는 느낌이에요. 두 지문이 정확히 어떤 point에서 대립되는지가 잘 드러나는 것이 중요하므로 키워드를 더 분명히 보여주면 좋을 것 같아요. 예를 들어 [관련된 기업들이 고고학적 자산 보존을 위해 노력하고 있으므로 reading이 걱정하는 '사회적 개발/발전 추구'는 문제가 되지 않는다.]하는 식으로 lecture의 반박주장을 더 보완해볼 수 있어요.
On top of that, the speaker casts doubt on the reading that lacking lack of money will bring about serious crisis. This is because archaeological research requires lots of money and the money from government is not really sufficient. The speaker’s argument continues to argue that not only the government, but also companies are now responsible for money problem according to new law. So they now need to pay money, and the money will be added in government funding. 마찬가지로 lecture의 주장을 명확한 반박으로 보이게끔 하는 표현방식이 필요할 것 같아요.
Furthermore, the speaker refutes the reading which maintains that now it is really hard to get a job after graduation graduated from archaeology major, accordingly the number of trained graduates is are getting decreased by saying that there is no evidence that it is hard to find job. He also asserts that there is a program for archaeological research, and commercial firms for archaeology has been increased.
Comment :
통합형 문제에서 요구하는 것은 두 지문이 어떻게 서로 '대립'되는지 혹은 서로 '보완'하는 관계인지를 드러내는 부분입니다. 현재 답안에서는 그 부분이 조금 아쉬운 것 같아요. 좀 더 두 지문의 관계를 잘 드러낼 수 있도록 발전시킬 수 있는 요소를 보완해주는 것이 좋아요. lecture가 reading에 '이러이러한 근거를 들어서 이러이러하다고 반박한다'가 드러나게끔 발전시켜주세요~ 수고 많으셨습니다~!
Integrated Writing Rubrics Score 3.5/5
A response at this level contains some important information from the lecture and conveys some relevant connection to the reading, but it is marked by one or more of the following :
- Although the overall response is definitely oriented to the task, it conveys only vague, global, unclear, or somewhat imprecise connection of the points made in the lecture to points made in the reading.
- The response may omit one major key point made in the lecture.
- Some key points made in the lecture or the reading, or connections between the two, may be incomplete, inaccurate, or imprecise.
- Errors of usage and/or grammar may be more frequent or may result in noticeably vague expressions or obscured meanings in conveying ideas and connections.