▶ Your Answer :
Without doubt, friendship plays a significant role in people’s daily lives in many of the places where they work or play. Some people think that it is impossible to be completely honest with their friends, while others do not. Both sides may have their own reasons to support their views. If I were asked to choose one, I would say that being completely honest with my friends is impossible due to the following reasons. There is a reason as follows. It is very difficult for people to be completely honest with their friends because it could bring a negative effect on their friendship. Also, telling a white lie could make a better result in their lives (애매한 표현입니다. 더 구체적으로 서술하셔야 합니다 make it better for them to ~, make their lives better in the sense that ~). The reason is that a positive lie, although it is not true, allows people to bring a have positive thoughts and hope (표현이 모호합니다. 더 명확하게 해주셔야 해요). This can lead people to become more successful. could cause a success in life. For example, I did poorly in middle school. I got distracted easily, procrastinated, and used to be lazy. However, I have changed little by little after studying with Jane. Jane always told me that I was smart and that I had a higher the ability to solve the problems. I knew it was not true and she told me that it was a lie but her words of encouragement motivated me to study harder. I wanted to be a that smart person Jane described who was told by Jane. Naturally, I started to put in my effort more effort into my studies studying. I had a stronger passion in my school work, a longer attention span, and a higher ability to delay-gratification (어색한 표현입니다). Finally, I could win the mathematics contest. Without her white lie, I would have fell fall behind. All things considered, I strongly believe that telling a lie to friends is impossible and this could bring a better result for the reasons I have mentioned above. All in all, the importance important thing is not to be completely honest with friends, but being good friend to my friends if I have told a lie to my friends. (해석이 어려운 문법상 어색한 문장입니다)
Score: 15-18 Comments: - 문법 실수들이 있습니다. - 어색한 표현들이 있습니다. - 조금씩 off-topic인 내용이 있어요. 주제는 친구들에게 거짓말을 안하는 것이 가능한지를 묻고 있는데, 선의의 거짓말이 인생을 사는데 도움이 된다는 내용을 담으셨습니다. 주제에서 많이 벗어난 내용이에요.
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