▶ Your Answer : Schools, public libraries, public transit and military are all important facilities in our society. But if I have to choose among the four, I would not spend money on public libraries. This is because the number of users of public libraries is the most smallest among the four, and we have another places to read or lend books.
First, most of the people do not use public libraries. Schools, public transit and military are essential in most people’s life. On contrary, library is a place for those who like to read books. However, people rarely like reading. Therefore,(문장부호) public libraries are not imperative to many people as other three of them. I can mention a research from social organization in Korea which name is called Korea Reading Association. They investigated the percentage of people who uses public libraries frequently. It finally turns out that only 2 percent of people were using public libraries regularly. This result shows that public libraries are almost useless for 98 percent of people in Korea. Also, it turns out that most of the people do not know where the public libraries are. In conclusion, it would be inefficient if we put some money into public libraries cause because (cause는 구어체로 because의 줄임말입니다) there are a small amount of people who use public libraries.
On top of that, there exist another alternatives. We can buy books in some book store to read books. Also, many libraries which is are built by existing companies exist which have more and better materials than public libraries. Let me tell you my experience. I used to visit public library near my home when I want to read books which I couldn’t could not afford buying books. However, since the books in that library were very old and some pages were ripped off, I couldn’t read them completely. So I visited another library which is was built by a company. I was surprised that there were a lot of materials and books which were almost new. After my first visit of that library, I didn’t went did not go to public libraries anymore. Because companies have much more money to invest in library, the quality of library could have been would be much better than that of public libraries.
In conclusion, I think I would not invest in public libraries among the four because it is not for many people than other four and there exists many alternatives.
[Score] 25-26 [Feedback] -전반적으로 잘 쓰여진 글입니다. 글의 흐름도 자연스럽고, 적절한 어휘 사용과 더불어 주장을 뒷받침하는 근거와 예시들도 모두 적절합니다. - 다만, 글의 quality를 낮추는 minor한 실수들이 좀 많습니다. 예를 들면 문장부호/ 수 일치/ 축약형(ex. couldn't, didn't)/ 시제 (ex. did not 뒤에는 동사원형) 등에 조금만 더 신경쓴다면 고득점을 노려볼 수 있을 것 같습니다. |