▶ Your Answer :
There might be some people who believe that it is not crucial to comprehend (주제 사용된 단어 아닌 다양한 동의어 활용해주세요 - 예: understand) the past to be able to deal with obstacles facing us now and in the future. However, I personally disagree with the above idea for two subsequent reasons. First, it is easier to catch the fundamental problem of the situation by analyzing the past events. Second, we can learn ways to solve the problem by looking back to what our ancestors did previously.
To begin with, by comprehending the past, we can find out the fundamental cause of obstacles facing us. The reason is, by analyzing the historical incidents, we can notice the commonly repeated mistakes and catch the cause of those mistakes. According to a survey done by HSF, 70% of previous major quarrels during 19th century (과거임을 강조) are caused by at least one of following three main causes; absence of communication, partial distribution of properties, or exclusion of other culture. Also, the researchers points out that 82% of modern problems are also caused by at least one of those three main causes. This proves that we can learn the main cause of obstacles facing us by analyzing the past events.
Second, we can learn how to tackle obstacles by looking back to the ways our ancestors dealt with the similar problems. To be specific, although it can be difficult to find way to solve the problems facing us by ourselves, it can be much easier to deal with those problems if we look back to our ancestors because we can get ideas from them. Let me introduce my personal experience (TOEFL에세이에서는 Let 형태의 구어체를 사용하는 것을 지양해주세요) For example, I actually solved a contract problem during my internship period by using the method Seo-hee, a Korean historical person who tried to get the land that was illegally taken by China. I actually required 100 extra supplies from the company based on the assertion that we can offer them enough supplies only if they give us those supplies. (강동6주는 채점자가 알 수 없는 내용입니다 (외국인이므로). 정확히 상황을 설명하고 본인의 사례와 연결지어 주세요) and it was successful. In the same manner, we all can learn from our ancestors the way to deal with obstacles facing us.
In conclusion, by comprehending the past, we can learn the main cause and the ways to deal with problems. In this regard, I strongly belive that it is important to learn from the past to being able to tackle obstacles facing us now and in the future.
Writing 0–30 score scale: Limited (1-16) / Fair (17-23) / Good (24–30)
ADDRESSING TOPIC
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ORGANIZATION
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PROGRESSION AND COHERENCE
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LANGUAGE USE
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GRAMMAR
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GOOD-FAIR
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FAIR
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FAIR
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GOOD
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GOOD
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각 카테고리별 SCORE: LIMITED / FAIR / GOOD
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