▶ Your Answer : There is no shortage of debate about whether friends are more influential in children's thought and lives than anyone else. In my opinion, friends play the most significant role in teenagers lives in every aspect. I feel this way for two reasons, which I will explore in following essay.
To begin with, youngsters usually spend most of the time on getting along with their friends. To be specific, students play and study in schools where from the morning to the evening they communicate with other classmates. Naturally, most of what they learn is from their friends, not their parents. In addition, while topics like 'how to act in house' and 'how to think as a family member' is so natural in their lives, the way they think and act in relationships among classmates can be the ones they started to learn comparatively recently, thus imposing bigger importance on their lives. My own experience is a compelling example of this. When I got into middle school, I spent almost 12 hours in school for a day. Interacting with many classmates with various backgrounds for a long time was very influential in reforging my way of thinking which had been established as I had spent time in my house. Before being a middle school student, I did not put any emphasis on studying because my parents also barely considered learning academical materials as something important. However, as I had some talks and discussions with my friends in school where I spent most of the time, I began to share a specific idea with my friends that for a successful life in society people need to study hard. Due to friends who drilled this thought into me, I have changed my mind which had occupied my life before and started studying more harder than before.
On top of that, students often feel it more convenient and comfortable to consult with their friends than with their parents. To explain it, most of the teenagers have problems concerning relationships in school, including the love relationship. Therefore, they think that seeking helps from their friends is more effective and desirable. Since they share the same environment, school, their friends more easily can empathize them and understand their situations than parents who are isolated from their circumstance. For instance, when my old and best friend, Minsu, had some problems in high school regarding his previous girlfriend and studying. He asked his friends including me and his parents for help. He found that the advice from friends was more specific for solving problems fundamentally, whereas that of parents was far more abstract and banal. As a result, he followed his friends' direction and was able to roll with a punch without any serious implication. After that experience, he continued to depend on his friends as faithful advisers when he needed consultation.
To sum up,
+ 예시 및 논리구조가 잘 잡혀 있는 글입니다. (Body) + 결론 꼭 작성해주세요.
Writing 0–30 score scale: Limited (1-16) / Fair (17-23) / Good (24–30)
ADDRESSING TOPIC
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ORGANIZATION
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PROGRESSION AND COHERENCE
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LANGUAGE USE
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GRAMMAR
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GOOD
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GOOD
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GOOD
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GOOD
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FAIR
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각 카테고리별 SCORE: LIMITED / FAIR / GOOD
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