▶ Your Answer : Some people think that science and mathematics are more significant than history and literature. However, in my opinion, it is better to take history and literature lectures for two reasons. First of all, science and mathematics subjects are not practical in real life. In addition, they do not give any lessons to students. To begin with, science and mathematics are not helpful in everyday life. People do not have to calculate or prove math problems and science problems in real life. However, history is an important subject which people should know because they are a citizen of a country. Moreover, literature gives many helps to people when they read articles or books. For example, when I was in high school, I learned these four subjects but I thought mathematics and science were are not practical subjects. This is because I used that knowledge only when I took the exams. On the other hand, history and literature helped me a lot when I read news and had to understand our societies. On top of that, science and mathematics do not give morals to students but history and literature offer many life lessons. History makes students learn what they should not repeat in those days and what ancestors did well by looking back their past and comparing with the present. Furthermore, literature also gives many morals by finding out what the author tries to say through the story. However, science and mathematics cannot offer any beneficial advice to students. For instance, according to the survey conducted by UCLA’s research department, about 80 percent of participants reported who were students reported that they learned many lessons such as cooperation and communication with others during in history and literature classes. They also mentioned that they did not get any advice from science and mathematics lectures. To sum up, science and mathematics are not practical in everyday life and do not provide any morals to students. 하지만 역사와 문학 수업은 이런 중요한 것들을 해준다, 라는 연결고리 간단하게 들어가는 게 결론 도출에 좋을 것 같아요. In this regard, I believe that taking history and literature classes is more helpful than having science and mathematics classes.
Comment : 질문 내용에 맞게 깔끔하게 논리를 잘 구성해주셨어요. 내용 설명 과정에서 실용적 쓰임과 삶의 교훈의 중요성을 강조해주는 문장을 한 문장 정도씩 보완한다면 설득력을 높이는 데 도움이 될 것 같아요. 각 본론에서 사례를 제시한 이후에 사례가 주장을 잘 보여준다는 점을 언급해서 논지를 강화하면 글의 완결성을 높이는 데 도움을 줄 수 있으니 참고해주세요. 수고 많으셨습니다~! Independent Writing Rubrics Score 4.5/5 An essay at this level largely accomplishes all of the following : - Addresses the topic and task well, though some points may not be fully elaborated (완벽하지는 않지만 문제의 요구사항을 대부분 잘 해결함) - Is generally well organized and well developed, using appropriate and sufficient explanations, exemplifications and/or details (적절하고 충분한 설명과 예시를 사용하며 대체로 글의 구성과 전개방식이 양호함) - Displays unity, progression and coherence, though it may contain occasional redundancy, digression, or unclear connections (중복된 내용이나 관련 없는 내용, 불분명한 연결이 있을 수 있으나 통일성, 연속성, 일관성이 드러남) - Displays facility in the use of language, demonstrating syntactic variety and range of vocabulary, though it will probably have occasional noticeable minor errors in structure, word form or use of idiomatic language that do not interfere with meaning (글의 의미를 손상시키지 않는 범위 내에서 사소한 문장구조, 단어 형태 오류를 보일 수 있으나, 전반적으로 어휘・통사적 다양성을 갖춘 유창한 언어 사용을 보임) |