▶ Your Answer : Some people believe that people only do only a few things well today. However, I disagree with that belief because of the following two reasons. First, the society gets more complicated as time goes by, which requires people to get more abilities to live. Second, the development of the internet makes it easy to share more information, so that people easily get their abilities from by the internet.
To begin with, modern people have to do various things well due to the complexity of the modern society. The more complicated the society gets complexed, the harder more we are unlikely it gets to expect the future of society and their following lives. When my parents were young, they only did a few things well because they could live well by doing them. For instanse instance, in 1960's of the in Korea, most people's abilities had to do with agriculture. On the contrary, 내용 더 보완해주세요.
On top of that, the information can be easily shared through the internet, which has have made people learn many abilities more easily. By sharing the information, people can see the method how other people learn their abilities and learn them quickly by following them. it. For instance, if I want to learn certain computer programs, I can search the method of learning it through Youtube by the Youtude or the Google quickly and easily. '그래서 요즘 사람들이 더 할 줄 아는 것이 많다'라는 입장과 연결할 수 있도록 내용을 더 보완해주세요.
To sum up, today, people can do more many things than those in at the past. First, Fisrt, in modern complex society, people are under pressure presure to do various things to live their lives well. Second, by sharing a lots of information, they can learn various abilities quickly.
Comment : 사회의 요구와 학습의 편리성으로 오늘날 사람들이 할 줄 아는 것들이 더 많다는 논리를 잘 생각하신 것 같아요. 설명을 보완해서 글을 완성하신다면 충분히 좋은 점수대의 글이 될 것 같습니다. 어색한 표현, 문법오류도 꼼꼼하게 체크해주세요~ 수고 많으셨습니다~!
Independent Writing Rubrics Score 2.5/5 An essay at this level is marked by one or more of the following : - Addresses the topic and task using somewhat developed explanations, exemplifications and/or details (일정 수준의 설명과 예시를 활용하여 문제의 요구사항을 해결함) - Displays unity, progression and coherence, though connection of ideas may be occasionally obscured (문맥이 모호한 부분들이 있을 수 있으나 통일성, 연속성, 일관성이 어느 정도 드러남) - May demonstrate inconsistent facility in sentence formation and word choice that may result in lack of clarity and occasionally obscure meaning (문장의 구성 또는 어휘의 선택에서 내용의 명확성이 떨어지거나 의미 전달이 불분명한 부분들이 있음) - May display accurate but limited range of syntactic structures and vocabulary (답안의 내용은 주제에 부합하지만 제한된 문장구조나 어휘를 사용함)
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