▶ Your Answer :
Some people believed that it is better to use their knowledge and experience to solve problems than ask other people for advice. However, I strongly convinced that it is better to require other people for advice. The concepts of perspective and stress clearly show this opinion.
To begin with, asking other people for what they do not know plays an important role in broadening their perspectives. This is mainly because in contrast utilizing their thoughts and ideas if people require other people advice can be exposed to the different thoughts and ideas that they have never known before because they can interact and socialize with a lot of people through requirement. (Wrong grammar structure) Consequently, they can take a quantum leap in intellectual growth and accept diversity important in an era of globalization. For example, my brother, an undergraduate, spent her time learning computer programming after school. If she had have the problems, she asked other people what she do and talk about different things with her colleague. (What does this mean?) As a result, she was able to learn about a variety of local cultures such as music, food and language as well as using computer program. This was because she can have conversations and share her thoughts with many new people. If she had not asked other people, she would have had a narrow mind.
In addition, thinking about problem to solve solving problems by themselves is harmful to their health. This is due to the fact that unlike questioning others for tip, if they use their knowledge to settle the problems they are more likely to become anxious and irritated. This situation stress gives them a lot of stress out. In fact, stress weakens the ability of the immune system in fighting diseases. For example, my uncle, a doctor at a general hospital in a city, often tells me that many of his patients suffer adverse health effects from stress. (Clarify this) They come to him for stress-related ailments and disorders. He has found a relationship between stress and human diseases such as headaches, high blood pressure and insomnia.
In conclusion, it seems to me that we had better ask for help when we struggle from problem. The reason was that if other people help us, it enables us to widen our horizons and relieve our stress levels.
채점기준표 | Grammar | Contents | Example | Coherence | 점수 | 2 | 3 | 2 | 2 | Score | Limited 15-18 | - 각각의 논지가 명확하게 드러나 있지 않습니다.
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