Some
people might say that people constantly depend on each other in their daily
lives regardless of the time period. whether in the past or at present(현재에나 과거에나/과거 현재 상관없이 늘 사람들은 그들의 일상생활에서 서로 의지한다) while others do not. Both sides may have their own
reasons to support their views. However, if I were asked to choose one, I would say that
people nowadays are less likely to do something with others. There
are some reasons and examples as follows.
First
of all, as individualism developed, people tend started to spend much more time doing
something alone. It has even been widely perceived that spending time with others
is inefficient and inconvenient. Furthermore, people seem that they do to not have
a lot of interest in meeting new people and getting to know each other, which
is easily regarded as a waste of time and effort in this society. For example,
there is was a study conducted by a group of Social science in Seoul national
university to demonstrate this point. A The study elucidated the phenomenon by
comparing with the agricultural society of in the past and present. Farmers in the past needed
to help each other since it was too arduous to
harvest all of crops without neighbors' aid. Therefore, it was absolutely natural
to give a hand to neighbors and receive help from them. However, in this
individualistic society, there is almost no need to get
help from others as everything can be achieved by one's own
effort.
Secondly,
people today do not have enough time doing
to do something with others. This is because they are always too busy with their responsibility
responsibilities,such as studying and working. In this cut-throat competitive society, everyone
is aware that being successful is like a camel passing through the eye of a
needle these days. Therefore, they should just focus
on what they have to do in order to exceed others. They tend to devote more and
more time to work to not to be behind other people. I will take my personal
experience to support my view on this. When I was a an elementary school student,
I used to spending spend time with my friend, Suzy, who lived in the house in
front of my house. I did almost everything with her. Also, my parents
and her parents knew very well each other very well and we sometimes went a on a picnic
on the weekend together. However, after getting a job, I do did not have any
friends like her and I even became fall fell apart with my best friend, Suzy. In
fact, I am always exhausted from working
overtime at every night that I cannot expend expand my energy to keep relationship
with my friends. I found out that it would be hard to take the time to spend
with friends.
To
sum up, people nowadays tend to enjoy doing activities alone and they usually think that
it makes their lives so much easier. Moreover, there is less time to meet people
in this society since they should always struggle with work to be promoted rapidly or get an incentive bonus. In
this regard, I strongly believe that neighbors do not depend on each other
less compared to the past.
Score: 22-23
Feedback:
- past tense와 present tense 중에 한 개만 택해서 쭉 같은 시제로 이어 나갈 것.
- 단수복수 수 일치 주의 하세요.
- 예시들은 명확했어요. 문법에만 조금 더 신경을 써주세요.