■ Direction Read the question below. You have 30 minutes to plan, write, and revise your essay. Typically, an effective response will contain a minimum of 300 words. ■ Question Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Use specific reason and examples to support your answer |
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▶ Topic : It is more important for teachers to connect with students than to be experts in their fields. |
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▶ Your Answer :
Some people think that teachers role as a supporters of their students is much more important than that their roles as an experts in their major fields. In my opinion, however, the teachers' competences and ability abilities are paramount factors to be that needs to be considered. This is because their leadership is fully dependent to their ability abilities and school reputation is greatly influenced by the teachers who are pertained work in the school. First of all, teachers should be a specialists in their specific areas. That is, before teaching students, they should be prepared themselves to fulfill their requirements as an advisors and directors. People, who are learning from their advisors will not follow and believe trust them if the advisors are not believable and (believable and trustworthy는 같은 의미기 때문에 한 단어는 생약합니다.)trustworthy. For example, when I was in a high school student, my math teacher was so incompetence incompetent at in teaching math. Not only was his attitude towards the students were so incompetent but also he did not have much intelligence knowledge about the math enough to teach us. Needless to say, students started to ignore him and didn't pay a lot of attention in on what he was saying. Also, the grades of the students who were taught by the teacher were very poor. Students in at that time argued that they would have learned much better if the teacher was more eligible competent. This example shows that the teacher's eligibility and competency in their fields are indispensable to teach teaching students properly. On top of that, schools' reputations are highly dependent on their teachers' ability abilities. In particular, college reputation is strictly influenced by professors ability abilities and their careers. career. And It is also needless to say that the schools reputations have deep relations to the nation's educational reputation. For example, according to a study carried out in 2012 at national examination institute, U.S colleges of engineering got a highest score in their research due to their tantamount faculty quality. For over several years, U.S government have tried to enhance the quality of faculty in colleges and this efforts lead led to the prosperity of the nation in many areas. Also South Korea, nowadays, is following nowadays the policy to ascend their educational reputation as well. This system will require the teachers' high ability and competency. U.S and South Korea would not have been able to reach that high tthis positive reputation position if they did not emphasize on developing the development of the teachers' ability abilities. To sum up, focusing on teachers competency is much more important than anything else because students need teachers who are eligible and their have ability abilities to influence to the schools reputation. In this regard, I think it is more important for teachers to be experts in their area rather than to being close advisors to their students.
[Score] 20-21
[Feedback]
- 단수 복수 수 일치 주의하세요.
Ex. their 다음에는 복수를 써줘야 하고 its 다음에는 단수를 써줘야 해요. - 현재형과 과거형 중에
한 개를 선택해 시제를 맞춰주세요. - 예시는 적절하고 좋았어요. - transition words를 Also, So, 이런 거 보다 In addition, Moreover, Furthermore, 이런 단어로 대체하시는 게 더 좋을 거 같아요.
수고하셨습니다.
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이정도면 20점은 넘을 수 있는지 가늠까지 해주시면 감사하겠습니다^^ 라이팅 점수가 너무 안오르네요 ㅠㅠ