Some people think that moving to a new city or country is not a good
idea because they will lose their old friends. However, in my opinion, moving
to the other areas is actually beneficial for people because they have a chance
to make new friends and learn about new cultures.
To begin with, people can form new human network when they move to another places.
What I mean is that they make new acquaintances in a whole new place. People
can form this network in places such as school, company, or any clubs. Actually,
a study was conducted by the government to determine whether moving to other
location can affect the number of friends people have. The researchers tracked
100 people over a 10 year period. What they found was intriguing. The study
demonstrated that people who experienced moving had more wide range of
relationships. This is because they are involved contained in several different
communities than those who did not move. Also their total number of the friends is usually bigger because people do not lose old friends if they kept
contacting each other.
On top of that, people can experience and learn about cultures that
are different from their home countries. I will talk about my case as an
example. When I was 7 years old, my family decided to move to Canada because of
my mother’s career. I do not want to move at first because I cannot speak
English and I do not want to lose my friends. However, I could make a lot of
friends in the new place as well. Though I could not speak English, I could
communicate with them through body languages. I enjoyed a lot of festivals which
do not exist in Korea, and I also experienced differences in life styles. Through
this experience, my interests toward other cultures have grown, and I always try
to understand them.
In a nutshell, people can broaden their
relationships and can learn about different cultures by moving. To this regard,
I think moving to another city or nation is beneficial for people.
채점기준표 | Grammar | Contents | Example | Coherence |
점수 | 3 | 4 | 3 | 4 |
Score | Good 20-22 | - 전체적으로 잘 서술하여 주셨어요. 다만 staying in one place without losing friends와 비교분석하여 보다 심도있는내용으로 서술해주시면 더 좋은 에세이가 나올 수 있을 것 같아요.
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