▶ Your Answer :
In the lecture, the lecturer contends that none of the current explanations of the mysteriousness of Angkor's fall is not plausible. This rebuffs the reading passage's assertion that those ideas explains the drastic decline of Angkor accurately. --> 'those ideas ~' reading의 주제에 대한 입장이 어떠한지 조금 더 분명하게 작성해주시고 "( )한 주제에 각각 어떤 입장을 드러내고 있다"는 직설적인 어조로 작성해주세요. This, those 등이 많이 사용될수록 내용이 모호해집니다. To begin with, the speaker claims that it is unlikely that Angkor was affected by the Black Death. This is because the Black Death spreads by ships, but Angkor was far inland. Also, it is still controversial whether the Black Death had actually ever spread in the South Asia or not. This casts doubt on the reading passage's point on disease ruining Angkor. can be possible explanation for its collapse.
Second, the lecturer asserts that failed water system was actually not as disastrous as the reading passage claims. This is due to the fact that the waterway was not crucial at that time because it just provided little amount of water. That is, Other water resources were needed, and there must had been some other ways to provide water. Therefore, the failure of water system did not impact the agriculture of Angkor. This contradicts the reading passage's claim that failed water system caused Angkor's demise.
Last, the speaker argues that the rise of maritime trade actually did not severely impact the economy of Angkor. To be specific, the city's economy was mainly based on agriculture. However, merchants of coastal cities actually did not deal with those goods. Therefore, Angkor could kept to be an important center of trade, even after coastal cities started to grow. This refutes the reading passage's assertion that the rise of maritime trade actually had been fatal to Angkor's economy.
Writing 0–30 score scale: Limited (1-16) / Fair (17-23) / Good (24–30)
ADDRESSING TOPIC
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ORGANIZATION
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PROGRESSION AND COHERENCE
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LANGUAGE USE
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GRAMMAR
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GOOD
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GOOD
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GOOD
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GOOD
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FAIR
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각 카테고리별 SCORE: LIMITED / FAIR / GOOD
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- 문장 내 문법 실수도 큰 감점의 원인이 될 수 있으니 주의해주세요. - 문장이 지나치게 길어지지 않게 주의해주세요. |