Undoubtedly, helping the
community plays a significant role in people’s daily lives in many of the
places where they work or play. Some people might think that today’s young
people are not willing to help their community, while others do not. Both sides
may have their own reasons to support their views. If I were asked to choose
one, I would say that today’s young people tend to help their community. There
are several reasons as follows.
On top of that (추가적으로, 라는 뜻인데 아직 주장을 하지 않은 본문 첫 문단을 시작할 때 쓰기엔 부적절합니다.), young people are
willing to give a hand to their community, because they can broaden their
perspectives. As the modern society is becoming
globalized and diversified, today’s job companies require candidates with such
professionalism, and people whom have worked with
working with people from different backgrounds and
different conditions. Improving such skills cannot be
learnt from textbook or in class, which means
young people should have first-hand experience. To acquire a stable occupation,
today’s young people are willing to improve their abilities by aiding directly
their community. For example, when I was in high school, I saw one of my
classmates was a blind. I felt very uncomfortable because it was my
first time seeing someone like that. I kept my distance from him and sometimes
made fun of him. However, I had noticed that being a specialist in a developing
country requires me abilities to work with people from different countries and different conditions. Fortunately, I had a chance
for assisting the blind in my village by leading them to an exhibition and
cleaning their room on summer vacation. I realized that we had a lot in common
in a way that we all cared about our family and friends, were committed to
relationships, and got easily hurt by what others say. Thanks to this
experience, I was able to get a job as an educational specialist in Japan-Cambodia
International Cooperation Agency by keeping in touch with them. Without this
experience, I would not have been able to get a job in the
global market. (예시가 잘 안 어울립니다. 맹인을 도와줘서 대기업에 들어갔다,
보다 더 추가적인 설명이 필요합니다. 또한 문단의 길이가 너무 깁니다. 더 간략하게 적어주세요.)
All things considered, I strongly believe that today’s
young people are tending to help their community for those reasons (주장도 단 하나만
하셨어요) I
have mentioned above. All in all, this trend will continue and pass down to the
next generation.
차별화, 구체화
바탕으로한 논리
전개 위주로
봐주세요. 매번
감사합니다 :)