▶ Your Answer :Some people think that there are many other ways to achieve success than simply advertising one's product to succeed in business. However, in my opinion, advertising should not be neglected for two reasons; first, to make people buy a product, it is essential to expose the product via advertisement and let people to know about the product. Second, people nowadays are so busy that they do not buy products meticulously.
To begin with, the first step to get your consumers buy your product is letting consumers know the product. The best way to achieve this is by advertising. If there are two products and a person knows one of them and never heard of the other one, it is obvious that this person will buy the one that you already know of. (꼭 아는 상품을 사는 것이 당연하다는 표현보다는 '사람들은 익숙함을 선호하고, 조금이라도 더 정보가 있는 상품을 선택하게 된다' 처럼 선택 배경에 대한 부연 설명을 추가해주세요) By advertising, you can easily gain your goal to make consumers informed about your product. There was one investigation done by business majors to demonstrate the tendency of people's consumption behaviors. They set two products and asked the participants which product they would buy. One product was the advertised one, while the other one was not. Almost 89% of the consumers responded that they will buy the advertised one. The reason was that they did not want to take over the risk of choosing bad products. --> 앞서 제시된 이유에는 사람들이 나쁜 제품을 사는 위험 부담을 하고 싶어하지 않는다는 내용/설명은 충분히 제시되지 않았습니다. 내용 앞 뒤 논리를 고려하여 작성해주세요. On the top of that, since current people are too busy to get over all the features of products, they just buy the product that is familiar with. If people consider many other factors such as price, design, and quality when buying products, it is wise for company to perfect the quality of the product to fascinate customers. However, people currently have too much pressure on their studies and workplaces, so thoroughly checking the products is secondary to them. Last weekend, I read one article from ( ) about consumption behaviors of people these days. It says that people these days do not have much motivations to investigate over the feature of commodities. One house maker did an interview for the article; she stated that she just bought the advertised products since it was the best way to buy the guaranteed products so that she could save time. She also said that there are many things she needs to do; when she has her free time, she needs to rest properly instead of making herself tired again by looking all the details of the products.
In conclusion, considering the people without much time and the importance of knowing the product in advance via advertisements and that people just buy products roughly, I firmly hold that it is crucial to spend money in advertising to achieve successful results.
Writing 0–30 score scale: Limited (1-16) / Fair (17-23) / Good (24–30)
ADDRESSING TOPIC
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ORGANIZATION
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PROGRESSION AND COHERENCE
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LANGUAGE USE
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GRAMMAR
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GOOD
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FAIR
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FAIR
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FAIR
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FAIR
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각 카테고리별 SCORE: LIMITED / FAIR / GOOD
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- 고른 이유를 조금 더 구체적이고 명확하게 다듬은 뒤 이 두 이유에 대한 충분한 부연 설명을 덧붙여 논리적으로 빈틈이 없는 독자(평가자)에게 설득력 있는 글을 보여줄 수 있어야 합니다. |