▶ Your Answer :
Some people think that it is not necessary to take a rest with hobbies or physical activities. However, in my opinion, having relaxing time and active performance have significant benefits to people considering the fact that they can help people relieve their stress and the fact that they can enhance work productivity.
To begin with, taking time with hobbies can be an outlet for stress. To be specific, having the outlet for stress has a meaning in itself since it can help one regain energy and find the strength to go on. People nowadays have pressure not only physically but also mentally. Activities relating to one's hobby will help him or her get back on track after having break time and doing physical activities. For instance, there was a poll conducted by the broadcasting company, with 200 current workers as respondents. The purpose of the survey was to understand the consensus view about the way on how to solve their stress. An overwhelming 76% responded that they usually take a nap or play sport games such as soccer and basketball. The main reason is that these hobbies are what they used to and can relieve stress.
On top of that, spending time on relaxing enable people to develop work productivity. Frankly, this issue is actually a double-edged sword. I admit that without any break, the amount of outcomes can be tremendous. However, I believe that the work productivity of the people who have enough time to relax can outweigh the work performance of the people with insufficient break time, concerning the fact that there is great effect of relaxing time on work efficiency. For instance, there was a research (done by ~ 기관명/리서치 진행자명 등 구체성을 위한 출처 필요) to find out the correlation between the work productivity and the time when people can take a rest. What the researcher found was intriguing. The people (몇 명을 대상으로 한 조사에서 몇명이 이런 결과를 보였는지) with sufficient break time or hobby time had better performance than others. This is mainly due to the fact that while relaxing, people secrete certain hormones that is beneficial for workers to concentrate.
To sum up, taking time to relieve stress and enhance the work productivity into consideration, we cannot deny the fact that having time to relax is pivotal. In this regard, I firmly believe that people should use their time to do active performance or their hobbies.
Writing 0–30 score scale: Limited (1-16) / Fair (17-23) / Good (24–30)
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ORGANIZATION
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PROGRESSION AND COHERENCE
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LANGUAGE USE
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GRAMMAR
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GOOD
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FAIR
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FAIR
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FAIR
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GOOD
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각 카테고리별 SCORE: LIMITED / FAIR / GOOD
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