▶ Your Answer :
I believe that reading and writing skills are really crucial in this society. This is because iIt is significant for your communication since there are lots of chances to read and write in online nowadays and if you are not good at
reading and writing, you may misunderstand someone’s intention, which it would be
harmful for your human relationships.
First, in the digital era, you have many
chances to read and write on the iInternet or over the phones. People are more
likely to contact you by text such as some messengers than by phone call. Also, writing e-mails is important in companies because e-mail is usually used to get
in touch to other businesses. In this point, great writing and reading
abilities are critical factors and Iit will helps people’s work and
communications nowadays. 같은 요지를 뒷받침하는 설명/사례이므로 한 문단으로 합쳐주는 것이 더 좋아요. For example, a study was conducted by Seoul
University to determine whether reading and writing skills could affect someone’s work efficiency. works. There were two groups monitored. The first group was formed of people
who had great capability of for reading and writing and the other group consisted
of people who had common those skills on the average level. The researchers compared their job
achievements and recorded that the former group had high average levels of job accomplishment
than the latter. The reason was that when they worked, the former group could
not only read and understand accurately someone’s intention in e-mails or
notice but also write what they want exactly. It made them work successfully. This
study demonstrates that writing and reading skills are important.
Second, if you cannot understand well when
someone tells you something and it is repeated, it could have bad effects on
your human relationships. The meaning of success has completely changed
compared to the past. If it was merely focusing on one’s own way and excelling
others in the past, now it is different. Along with your own ability, it is crucial to have
people who can lend you a hand when you are in trouble. In this sense, good
communication abilities can be helpful. 단순히 커뮤니케이션이 중요해서 이해를 잘 못하면 안 좋다는 내용은 '읽고 쓰는 능력'과는 관련이 없어요. 오늘날 다른 어느 때보다도 읽고 쓰는 능력이 중요해졌다고 보는 이유를 제시해야 하므로 읽고 쓰는 능력과 관련지어서 내용을 풀어주세요. For example, when I was in high school, one
of my friends was likely to understand friends’ talks on his way. But it was
not his faults. His reading was so bad. Moreover when he said sorry due to his misunderstandings, his writing was also not that good. Many friends disliked him
because they could not communicate with him well. After a few years, he has learned how
to read and write and now he is getting along with his colleagues well and he has
great human relationships in the company while he had has only a few friends from
school.
To sum up, I believe that how to read and
write is more important than it has ever been for the following two reasons:, to
communicate better in their society and to have desirable human relationships.
Comment : 오늘날 많은 소통이 글로 이루어지기 때문에 쓰고 읽는 능력이 중요하다는 서론의 기본 내용은 아주 좋습니다. 하지만 본론에서 내용을 풀어낼 때 너무 여러 항목에서 커뮤니케이션을 강조하거나 읽고 쓰는 능력이 아니라 '이해력의 중요성'으로 논점이 어긋나는 부분들이 아쉬웠어요. 쓰고 읽는 능력이 어떤 점에서 오늘날 가장 중요한지를 명확히 드러내주는 주장으로 요지를 명확하게 정리하고, 설명과 사례 내용이 그 논점을 벗어나지 않게끔 일관성을 유지하는 데 초점을 두고 글을 발전시켜보시면 좋을 것 같아요. 대소문자 오류가 종종 보이니 proof-reading때 꼼꼼하게 체크해주세요~ 수고 많으셨습니다~!
Independent Writing Rubrics Score 3/5 An essay at this level is marked by one or more of the following : - Addresses the topic and task using somewhat developed explanations, exemplifications and/or details (일정 수준의 설명과 예시를 활용하여 문제의 요구사항을 해결함) - Displays unity, progression and coherence, though connection of ideas may be occasionally obscured (문맥이 모호한 부분들이 있을 수 있으나 통일성, 연속성, 일관성이 어느 정도 드러남) - Inappropriate or insufficient exemplifications, explanations or details to support or illustrate generalizations in response to the task (설명이나 예시, 세부사항이 필자의 주장을 뒷받침하기에 부족하거나 부적절한 경우) - Displays facility in the use of language, demonstrating syntactic variety and range of vocabulary, though it will probably have occasional noticeable minor errors in structure, word form or use of idiomatic language that do not interfere with meaning (글의 의미를 손상시키지 않는 범위 내에서 사소한 문장구조, 단어 형태 오류를 보일 수 있으나, 전반적으로 어휘・통사적 다양성을 갖춘 유창한 언어 사용을 보임)
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