▶ Your Answer :
Nowadays, people can gain various information about a hero who is regarded as an ideal person and role model by a society through the development of technology, especially media scrutiny. I disagree with the claim that any living man or woman would not be regarded as a hero due to media scrutiny. Critics would assert that harsh blemishes which are disclosed by media would prevent people to respect one person as a hero. (Unclear meaning) However, this statement has disregarded several important aspects: if a mistake of a hero is not related to his accomplishment and it is a just minor accident, such mistake could not affect to his reputation. Also, swift information delivery (Indicate what?) could help to increase an opportunity to gain a reputation more quickly. Admittedly, media scrutiny could expose a hero’s personal mistake more efficiently. (so that?) However, if the mistake is not related to the hero’s accomplishment and a minor factor of his life, such mistake would not be able to decrease his reputation. Most scandals from media are not directly related to ideal person’s accomplishment. Thus, people would not care about such information when he or she determines a hero in a particular field although the hero could have harsh invective related to other fields. Opponents would assert that media scrutiny have influences on one’s reputation, and it sometimes makes a hero decline his reputation and resign his work. For example, one scientist had to leave his work because media scrutiny revealed his dishonest behavior of experimental fabrication. However, above example cannot be represented in every hero’s case. Although a personal mistake can affect one’s reputation, it would decline the reputation in the part of personal case. (Sentence doesn't make sense) Consequently, people still respect a hero based on certain field. Mahatma Gandhi, for example, is known as the father of Indian independence. He is a political and spiritual leader in India and started the non-violent movement. Thus, a lot of people respect him according to his political behavior. However, media scrutiny reveals that in the aspect of patriarchy, he sacrificed his family and argued with his son. After this media scrutiny, people still follow his principle and respect him. Secondly, media scrutiny could convey a lot of information about a laudable behavior and compliment event of a hero so that people would admit one person as a hero faster. (What are you going to speak?) People can communicate quickly and get affluent information due to the development of media, so this development can lead people to know the great aspects of a hero more quickly. Critics could claim that media scrutiny could disclose a hero’s weak points more quickly so that it prevents the hero holds his reputation. Although media can attenuate a hero’s reputation, media can provide the opportunity to understand better about the hero’s perspective and life and affluent investigation in various angles. As a result, one minor blemish could not affect to whole compliment accomplishment of a hero. For instance, Steve Jobs was estimated as a dogmatic manager and selfish person though media scrutiny. However, this scrutiny even leaded people to understand better about his goal and thinking so that people could appreciate his accomplishment and acclaim his great result swiftly. In conclusion, I think that it is possible that living man or woman is acclaimed as a hero although there is varied information due to media scrutiny. The first reason is that minor and extraneous scandals would not have effects on one’s high reputation. The second reason is that fast information transfer would promote to gain a reputation as a hero.
채점기준표 | Grammar | Contents | Example | Coherence | 점수 | 2 | 2 | 2 | 2 | Score | Limited 10-15 | - 글의 내용이 장황하고 주장이 확실하게 드러나지 않습니다. TOEFL Topic은 아니고 GRE나 GMAT 토픽내용 같이 보입니다.
- mistake에 많은 너무 많은 중점을 두고 있는 것 같아요.
|
|