▶ Your Answer :
Undoubtedly, environment plays a significant
role in people’s daily lives in many of the places where they work or play.
Some people think that the condition of the environment will not get better in
the coming years, while others do not. Both sides may have their own reasons to
support their views. If I were asked to choose one, I would say that the
environmental state of the planet will improve as time passes. There are
several reasons as follows.
(GOOD) To
begin with, the government has imposed many new environmental regulations.
Companies must follow or be subject to penalties including huge fines and
possible criminal charges. Therefore, companies now have a powerful incentive
to avoid causing environmental damage. For example, in Australia, the government
imposed a new policy to keep the water clean. Companies can get penalties if
they pollute the water with harmful chemicals such as aluminum into the
river and the lake. They will face a fine up to 1000 dollars per (~당 얼마의 벌금). As a result, the
waters of Australia are much cleaner now, and it is believed that this trend
will continue to improve in the future as well. (GOOD but Austria:유럽 / Australia: 오세아니아)
In
addition, a large number of individuals is adopting environmentally
friendly lifestyles. More and more people are realizing that even small lifestyle
changes can have positive effects on the environment. So, people are taking actions
to reduce the pollution they created. For example, in Korea, after people read the newspaper
about environment and how people should do to deal and solve the problems
associated with it, my family changed our lifestyles. My father who used to
commute by car began to commute by public transportation system such as bus or
train. My mother started to recycled litters. Even I started to buy
environmental friendly materials. It is a small change, but our society is getting cleaner as individuals are prone to environmentally-friendly life. (실제로 이렇게 해서 변화가 있었던 경우를 적어주면 더 좋을 것 같습니다)
All
things considered, I strongly believe that the environment will improve better
in the future for the reasons I have mentioned above. All in all, the
importance of the condition of the environment cannot be overestimated in
pursuit of happiness in life.
Writing 0–30 score scale: Limited (1-16) / Fair (17-23) / Good (24–30)
ADDRESSING TOPIC
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ORGANIZATION
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PROGRESSION AND COHERENCE
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LANGUAGE USE
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GRAMMAR
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GOOD
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GOOD
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FAIR
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GOOD
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GOOD
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각 카테고리별 SCORE: LIMITED / FAIR / GOOD
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