▶ Your Answer :
Developments of technologies have gave people a hope to make the global environment much better. However, I believe that the environmental condition will not get better in this coming years. This is because, the air pollution is reaching at a severe level and the global warming is getting worse.
Firstly, the severity of the global air pollution is catastrophic. Understanding how the world emits carbon dioxide is crucial to substantiate this view. It is true that a numerous number of investigations are made to resolve the air pollution. For example, researches in power generators utilizing tides and waves are being active and actually showing rapid progressions. However, these are not efficient enough to be used yet. So developing countries in Africa, china and India are not stopping from building many fossil fuel power plants. (Why only this counties?) This creates an enormous amount of methane, which also emits not only emiting carbon dioxide, but also and prevent people living near the plants from breathing clean air. Also, Furthermore, the entire world is jammed with countless cars not only emitting carbon dioxide but creating smog phenomenons. the frequency of Unfortunately, this phenomenon increases every year. In this respect, it is undeniable fact that the atmosphere pollution is still severe and actually getting worse.
In addition, the global warming problems are making the world more disastrous place to live. Venice, one of the most beautiful cities in Italy, is now being threatened by the global warming. A rise of in the overall temperature in the world has lead to the melt of icebergs in North pole and South pole. Eventually the sea level has risen rised significantly. Venice, one of the most beautiful cities in Italy is now sinking due to inability of the world to recognize the ramifications of the global warming. The sea level is steadily rising, rendering the ground floor of the city now uninhabitable. Also, the summer season and the winter season is getting longer making people to use the air conditioners and heaters more frequently. Such tendency actually aggravates the global warming as the use of such devices discharge a massive amount of heat. As we have seen, global warming is actually making the world worse place to live.
To sum up, I believe that the environment will not get better due to the following reasons; the severity of the air pollution getting worse and the global warming is disastrous. Consequently, the importance of my view cannot be underestimated due to the reason I have mentioned above.
채점기준표
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Grammar
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Contents
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Example
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Coherence
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점수
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2
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3
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3
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4
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Score
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Fair 18-21
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- Spelling error가 상당히 많이 보이기 때문에 반드시 스펠링 에러를 체크해주시기 바랍니다. - 첫 번째 예시의 developing countries만 언급된 부분을 상세히 설명해주실 필요가 있습니다.
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