▶ Your Answer :
Some people believe that the young should
do a same kind of job continually. However I am strongly convinced that it is better
for them to do various experiences. The concept of perspectives clearly shows
this opinion.
First of all, having various job
experiences plays an important role in broadening the young 's perspectives.
Eexperiencing diverse tasks through many jobs can expose them to different ideas
and thoughts that they have never known before. Also, this is possible for them
to meet more people and get helpful advice. Consequently, they can take a
quantum leap in intellectual growth and accept the diversity important in an
era of globalization. This can help them to know diverse kinds of jobs and
select better jobs. Therefore, they can easily discover a job which they
intensively want and can do well. From my experience when I graduated high
school, I did not know what to do. I tried to work in many companies such as
designing, writing, serving and so on. I could can experience various tasks and
listen to many people's sincere advice. Through a lot of advice, I could can know a
company that I had not known before. Eventually I was employed in the company and
this was is a good choice.
In conclusion, it is clear that people have
to experience a variety of jobs. The example of outlook supports the argument.
Fair (17-18) 토플 에세이의 기본 틀 서론+본문1+본문2+결론입니다. 이 틀에 맞춰서 해주세요.
또한 글자수 300 미달입니다. 미니멈 맞추지 않으면 감점됩니다.
서론 -same 넣어주셔야 의미가 맞습니다.
본문 -대/소문자 오류 -끝에서 네번째 줄에서, 문맥상 과거이므로 can-->could 입니다. -끝에서 세번째 줄과 마지막 줄도 마찬가지입니다. -끝에서 두번째 줄에서, not이 들어가야 더 의미가 맞습니다.
글에서 연두색 부분, perspective/outlook을 본인의 이유의 키워드로 드셨는데 그것에 대한 내용이 본문에 잘 나와있지 않습니다. 다른 키워드로 하시거나 그냥 키워드 없이 써주세요.
수고하셨습니다~ |