▶ Your Answer :
Some people think that the
condition of the environment will improve soon. However, in my opinion,
the environment will become worse in the
future. (than these days.) This is because the
government’s budget cuts will have negative effects on the environment. Also,
since the number of people who drive their own cars is increasing, it will also
cause pollution. (continues to reduce
budget the environmental funding and many people riding a car is increasing so
the environment pollution will a severe problem in the coming years.)
First of all, the
environment will be worse due to budget cuts.
(worsen owing to budget cut by the government in the coming years.) In fact,
the government keeps cutting environment spending.
(budget minimizing spending on the environment compared to funding for economy.)
According to the Environmental Protection Agency, the
government recently cut the environment budget by 15%. (there is a
recent budget cut for the environment plummeted by 15 percent.) This will limit
the implementation of environmental regulations
and enforcement of environmental laws. (However, the result from economy
investment shows minute development without much improvement. 이 부분은 무슨 뜻인지 잘 모르겠네요.) Thus, the policy of the government
makes the environment conditions worse. (the
condition of the environment in the near future.)
Also, as the number of vehicles has increased, it has
caused environmental pollution. (keeps increasing
nowadays since almost all people drive their own car.) It is obvious that one of (among) the primary sources of pollution in
urban areas is automobiles. The gas emission from the car’s cylinder goes directly
into the air, and the gas is harmful for the
environment, as well as human health. (reduce visibility and negatively
affects to human when they breath.) According to the agency mentioned above, idling
cars fume more carbon monoxide which is very toxic to human. (the car
undergoes idling which is when a vehicle’s engine is running while the car is
not moving, it makes more carbon monoxide which is toxic to human.) Automobiles have been one of the major causes of air
pollution and they will continue to threat the environment and the public
health. (As such, it is likely to cause way more air pollution in the
near future which has negatively effects on human due to more automobiles.)
To sum up, the government should
place a high value on the environment issues
and people should try to reduce air pollution for the future environment. In
this regard, I think that all people should make
an effort to protect the environment for the future generations.
Writing Score (0-30):
2.75-3.00
Score (0-5): 18-20
Grammar &
Feedback: 문법, 어휘, 문장 구성에 대한 공부가 더 필요해 보입니다. 주장과 근거, 예시가 다 좋았는데 그걸 정확하게 의미가 잘 전달되도록 설득력 있게 풀어쓰시질 못하신 것 같아서 아쉽네요. 수고하셨어요.