Some people think
that parents should set strict rules for children if they hope to see their
children succeed in life. However, I believe that they should not set strict
rules if they want their children to succeed in life. (위 두 문장에 있는 comma는 불필요해서 지워드렸어요.) This is because
setting strict rules for children prevents
children from becoming well grown people by hurting their feelings, and
taking out opportunities to learn decision making skills.
To begin with,
setting strict rules can
hurt children emotionally, get children hurt a lot times, leading
many drawbacks, instead of helping children them
to succeed in their life. Human beings are emotional. When people get hurt
emotionally, those feelings will lasts
for a longer time than we have usually expected.
For many times In a lot of occasions,
children who got get hurt by their
parents want to express their feelings to their parents by doing unusual
behaviors which they don’t originally do. These unusual behaviors varies vary,
but most of those are things that they are not supposed to do such as
drinking alcohol, harassment, or not going to school. As a result, strict rules
will not help children to succeed in their life, but drag children’ their life into worse situations which would not have happened if they
didn’t get hurt by strict rules. According to the study held by Harvard
University, 82 percent of respondents out of 200
children who took a rehabilitation course for
mental problems said they did get hurt by rigorous rules set by their parents,
and those made them decide to do something bad to express their feelings to their parents. For instance, a parent set a rule
saying that you should not hang out with children who don’t study hard. They
scolded him/her (예시를 적으시는 거니
성별은 정확하게 적으세요) that he should not hang out with
his friend whose grades are not good. The parent’s
kid got hurt, and it results resulted in him
spending even he even spend more time with that friend and doing something bad things together to show his/her
parent that he does did not like what he
was said told. If this situation lasts
for a longtime, the kid’s life will not be as good as that would originally if
there was no strict rules. In this regard, I believe that strict rules
rather have hurt children hurt,
and it will make cause a lot of drawbacks
which worsen their life.
Furthermore,
it is very important for children to have decision making abilities. After
being grown people, they need to make decisions by themselves when they deal
with many problems rather than following strict rules made by someone else. If
they get used to following rules restricting
their behaviors, they will not have enough skills to make decisions while
facing hard situations. Rather, they will try to find out if there is are any rules they can apply for follow. Lacking of theses these skills will result
in serious problems for children’ life, since
neither parents nor strict rules made by parents will be permanent. (조금 아쉬운 문장입니다. Parents는 빼주세요.) Consequently, they will not know what they can do to live their life
well. For instance, I have a friend whose parents are super strict. They had a
lot of rules for their kid. For example, the kid needed to go back to
home right after a school work had finished to study hard. He
seemed like he studied well and got good grades. However, he did not know what
we had to do when his parents were not by him, or whenever
there were no rules for some circumstances. Consequently, he called me up every
time when he had a problem to seek out solutions. He thinks this behaviour
behavior still lasts and it really blocks him to
succeed in his life. In this regard, I believe that setting strict rules will
prevent children to succeed in their life by taking out chances to learn
decision making skills.
To sum up, I
believe that setting strict rules by parents does not help children succeed in
their life for the following reasons; Strict rules make children hurt,
resulting children to do many bad things that they didn’t do originally, and
the rules set by parents will take out chances for children to learn how to
make decisions by themselves, which is very important to succeed in their life.
Consequently, the importance of my opinion cannot be underestimated for the
reasons I mentioned above.
Writing
0-30 Score Scale |
Fair (17-23) |
Score |
22 |
Overall
Comment: |
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