▶ Your Answer :
Various opinions may exist over the
argument whether today’s rules that young people have to follow is too rigid
for them. As far as I am concerned, I am in complete agreement with the
argument. The two ideas stated below can be valid evidence to support my view.
First of all, many rules in the present
days can prevent the young from exhibiting their abilities. One of the
frequently mentioned factors of interrupting the young is the hierarchy in the
society such as unconditionally following the elderly or the boss. Even if they
behave unreasonably, the young have not to cannot oppose them in the manner of our
society. These practices are very strict and inefficient. For example, I will
talk about my company life as an example. Last year, I worked in a company with
many superiors. At that time, I just followed my bosses without the
opportunities to express my opinion. Hierarchy in my office was too stringent
for the subordinates to show their own strength to go on clearly. Since the
boss had old-fashioned ideas, the working sequence was very ineffective and the
consequences were also worse. I eventually decided to quit my work due to the
strictness of office rule.
On top of that, some rules are meaningless
and can even deteriorate the liberty of the young. To be more specific, the
highly detailed rules can intrude young people’s liberties; so that they think
these policies become inconvenient and useless. Even some people do not follow the
rules because the rules are just complex but not useful. For instance, in my
country Korea, there is 'shutdown policy', which prevents the young under 20
years from playing online games after 10 P.M. This policy has no specific
goal and meaning, and it merely limits children’s freedom in respect to playing
games. Since everyone is aware that it is ridiculous, they do not comply with
the rule by using their parents ID. This example demonstrates that some rules
are not efficient but just stringent for the young in terms of restricting
their freedom.
To sum up, there are many strict rules
which limit young people’s potentials. Also, some inefficient rules prohibit their liberty
in the present days. In this regard, I firmly believe that today’s rules that
young people have to conform are too tight.
Writing 0–30 score scale: Limited (1-16) / Fair (17-23) / Good (24–30)
ADDRESSING TOPIC
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ORGANIZATION
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PROGRESSION AND COHERENCE
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LANGUAGE USE
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GRAMMAR
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GOOD
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GOOD
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GOOD
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GOOD
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GOOD
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각 카테고리별 SCORE: LIMITED / FAIR / GOOD
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