▶ Your Answer :
Movies rule (에쎄이에 쓰기에는 조금 무리수 인 것 같습니다. Rule이란
표현 자체가 조금 어린층이 많이 사용하는 용어입니다.) . Everywhere in this world is Everyone
around the world is crazy for a good movie filmed by a competent
director. How can this kind of medium dominate the people's
minds around the world? Simply, it is just a form of storytelling. And people have
always loved stories which reflects many aspects of our everyday life
lives. And you can know that everyday lifes
daily lives from different countries are so exotic
different from to each other. So, movies
which brings many fancy stories tell a lot about a country and there are
two reasons.
First, there are lots of emotion in movies. Fundamentally, a story
in a movie tells the audience about something
among people (너무 애매합니다). When people interact with each other,
emotions always happen. And every human being reallly really wants to tell
his or her emotion he which one just felt
to another and get some sympathy for it. It is sort of an
essential desire of humans. In movies, there are
lots of real-like happenings which are similar
to events occurring in real life, and they bring many emotions like
to us. As you know, emotions are bascially
basically made by his or her own character and
the character is the result of the education of the country, not
just the education from schools but from the culture
of that country. (글 문장들이 서로 따로
노는 기분을 줍니다. 의식의 흐름대로 적은 것 같아요.)
Second, movies always deal with some kind of problems and show
how people in it them solve them. The
way Ways to solve problems reflects one's thinking mechanics so
directly. It is a matter of success or fail, so human beings need to do their best to make it well. At this
point, you can take the moment of his or her essence of thinking. And the essence
cannot be isolated from his or her cultural surroundings, because he will
choose the solution which is experienced by him before. Naturally,
the resulf result of the solution,
the solving behavior, also reflects the cultural atmosphere of the
country.
Movies rule. Because they bring varied aspects
of folk's life. People imagine how he or she acts
when the problem in movies break out to him or her and they feel his own
emotions and bring up his own ideas to solve the problem. At the
moment, people can compare their imagination to
the feelings and behaviors of people in the movie, then they know
that it is really different. Exotic feelings. Because all
the emotions and solutions and even the problem broke out in the
movie are originated from the culture of the country. So I'm sure that movies
tell a lot about a country.
Writing
0-30 Score Scale |
Limited (0-16) |
Score |
6 |
Overall
Comment: |
전체적으로 문법 오류가 너무
많습니다. 서론부터 어떤 주제를 다루는지 파악하기가 어려웠습니다. 본론은 의식의 흐름대로 적은 것 같아서 아쉬웠어요. 쓰시기 전에 어떤
내용으로 글을 쓰실 건지 정리부터 하시는 습관을 들이시는 게 좋을 것 같아요. 추가적으로 템플릿을 한 번 사용해 보시는 것도 좋은
방법이라고 생각합니다. |
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