▶ Your Answer :
There
might be some people who do not believe that improving schools is the best way
to advance a country. However, I personally disagree with the above idea
them (여기서 above idea는
improving schools is the best way 입니다.) for two subsequent reasons. First,
a high quality of
education is helpful to increase the economy of a country. Second, good schools
can prepare logical and creative people who make better their own society.
To begin with, the higher the quality of education is made, the better the condition improving economy is formed for improving the economy. To be specific, schools
that have good facilities for eduacation
offer excellent opportunities to learn advanced technologies and a variety of information, which is
are the grounds of devolping developing the national economy. According to a study
done by the World Research Institute, the
countries that invest a lot of funds to
education get higher grades (grades in what?)
than those that don't. This is because the people who have outstanding
technologies and knowledge are the basis of power
of economic growth. This is clearly shows that excellent schools help to
develop the national economy.
On top of that, good schools provide the education that form people who change their society for the better. making
people who change their society better. To explain,
people who learn from nice schools can be more rational and thoughtful, which
makes the social culture
more democratic and morally moral.
Without the ground of a democratic and equar
social equal society, advance of a country would face the limit of developing very
soon. For example, Korean people demonstrated against their
corrupt government and changed the president,
which shows that many Koreans are the people who want to be their
country that become more democratic and morally to
become more democratic and moral. As soon as changing the goverment
the government changed, stock prices skyrocketed and the
economy have has picked had picked up.
Not only that, but diplomatic relationships have
became become more stable. This would not
have been
possible if Korean people do did not have
a high education level.
To sum up, a high quality of education leads
economic growth and a democratic social culture,
which make the country more developing develop a
country. In this regard, I personally believe that improving schools is
the best way to advance a country.
Writing
0-30 Score Scale |
Fair (17-23) |
Score |
18 |
Overall
Comment: |
포인트는 잘 잡으셨지만, 전체적으로
문법 오류가 많아서 전달력이 떨어집니다. 위 지적사항들을 참고하세요. |
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