▶ Your Answer :
Opinion might be divided whether teachers were more appreciated and valued
by society in the past than they are nowadays. (주제 문장 그대로 사용 지양해주시고 paraphrase해 주세요) People of various ages and from
different walks of life may take diverse positions on this controversial issue.
Some believe that teachers are getting much more respect today than they
were in the past. However, I personally disagree with the statement that the
values teachers receive today is lower than they did in the past.
To begin with, instructors in the past were much more helpful
than they are today. Actually, people today can learn something new from
other sources of information and knowledge. Thus, the values of teaching others in person has decreased recently. For example, many people are getting a great
number of information and knowledge on the internet. There are so many contents
to teach people for a variety of realms not only in academic
subjects but also in other field like playing guitars or piano. If
students have a firm will to learn by themselves, all the source of
information and knowledge can provide them with a great environment to
study and acquire anything. On the other hand, in the past, people did not
get any information and knowledge except from their instructors or teachers.
So, teachers should have been respected so much from their students. This
clearly proves that tutors and teachers were valued by their students and the
society than they are today.
On the top of that, many students today regard teachers and tutors as a
means of their success. The society nowadays emphasize the importance of
success excessively. So, people pursue success blindly. This social mood lowers the values of teachers and tutors greatly. It is one of the hottest
social issues in Korea. Many students and their parents think of their teachers
as a tool for entering a prestigious university. Moreover, the fact that
teachers in private educational institutions can increase students’ score makes
the teachers in a public school suffer from disregard of their students and
their parents. Many students nod and make some noise during classes. Furthermore,
a few weeks ago, a shocking event happened in a high school. Some students beat
their teacher in class and other student shot the scene by his smartphone and
uploaded the video on his Facebook. (예시를 작성할 경우 어느 국가에서 어떻게 일어났는지 사건은 Some students 등의 부정확한 주어가 아닌 ~학교의 모 학생들 등 구체적으로 작성해주세요) Many people were enraged by this event. An
expert conclude that the reason for the shocking event is from the social atmosphere
that students and the society do not respect teachers. This clearly supports my
point of view that the society do not respect teachers today.
As
I mentioned above, based on my rationales for my claims, I can conclude that
teachers in the past were received much more values and respect than they
are nowadays. (결론에서는 본인의 주장에 대한 이유를 간략히 요약하고 ~ 와 같은 이유로 나는 주장에 동의/반대 한다는 입장을 서술 할 수 있어야 합니다.)
Writing 0–30 score scale: Limited (1-16) / Fair (17-23) / Good (24–30)
ADDRESSING TOPIC
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ORGANIZATION
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PROGRESSION AND COHERENCE
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LANGUAGE USE
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GRAMMAR
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GOOD
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FAIR
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GOOD
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GOOD
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FAIR
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각 카테고리별 SCORE: LIMITED / FAIR / GOOD
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- don't --> do not 등으로 full version 표기를 해 주세요 - This support --> supports 등 주어 동사 일치 실수 주의해주세요. |