▶ Your Answer : Undoubtedly, the environment plays a significant role in people’s daily lives in many of the places where people work or play. Some people think that the issues facing the environment are so complicated that individuals acting alone have no power to affect them. while others prefer to have cheerful. Both sides may have their own reasons to support their views. If I were asked to choose one, I would say that individuals can affect the environmental issues. There are several reasons as follows. - 주제 문장을 그대로 사용하는 것을 지양해주세요. (Paraphrase!) To begin with, people’s efforts for the environment can actually improve the environment and prevent climate changes. Commuting by bus or subway instead of their individual cars is likely to reduce the emission of harmful gases that change weather patterns. For example, recently in the United States, Texas suffered from unexpected massive flooding, leading to property damage and thousands of deaths. This was a very rare phenomenon for a state known for its dry weather. Many experts are linking this event to an increase in Carbon Dioxide mainly caused by driving cars. Their argument was based on the fact that the number of cars has been continuously increasing. It is not exaggerating to say that cars have been the main cause of destroying the environment. After this experience, people acknowledge the need to take more careful measures. If individuals actively participate in a variety of methods for better environment to reduce the number of cars driven on individual basis, this effort can reduce more gas emission as well as natural disasters. In addition, when people use alternative energy sources, the environment will be improved. Fossil fuels are limited in supply and are sensitive to price fluctuations. Individuals who are well-aware of such dangers are willing to participate and invest in the development of new energy sources. For instance, the sales of electric cars have been continuously increasing every year (in United States? in South Korea?) This is because people concern the environment in the future and take advantage of some benefits that the government provide. Many citizens are affirming their support through the purchasing of electric cars. In conclusion, I firmly believe that there are a lot of ways that people do for the environment and they have great power to affect the environment. It is my belief that my argument regarding this topic has been efficiently and accurately delivered with the reasons that I have mentioned above.
- 이 주제의 핵심은 개인이 환경에 영향을 줄 수 있다 vs 개인은 할 수 없다 (국가/단체가 나서야 한다) 는 내용으로 1) 개인의 작은 노력이 모여 큰 영향력을 행사 할 수 있다. 2) 그룹이 특정 환경 이슈를 주장한다고 해도 개인이 동의하지 않으면 해당 캠페인의 효력이 없다 등의 이유를 제시해주세요.
Writing 0–30 score scale: Limited (1-16) / Fair (17-23) / Good (24–30)
ADDRESSING TOPIC
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ORGANIZATION
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PROGRESSION AND COHERENCE
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LANGUAGE USE
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GRAMMAR
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LIMITED
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FAIR
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LIMITED
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GOOD
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GOOD
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각 카테고리별 SCORE: LIMITED / FAIR / GOOD
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