▶ Your Answer :
It is a debatable whether people in the rural areas can take better care of their families than people who live in the city. This is an intriguing question because opinions concerning this issue can be different relying on individual perspectives. In my opinion, however, I agree that people who live in countryside can take better care of their families than who live in the urban areas for following reasons.
To begin with, urban people are too busy to take care of their families. In other words, as people assume, living in cities takes lots of energy from people. Many things such as over-working condition are real in cities and that makes city people tired. In this condition, it is difficult for people to really concentrate on taking care of their families. A recent study shows that the urban people spend less time with their family. tThe study also says, even if urban people share time with their family, they do not really share and communicate with each other because most of them prioritize doing something relevant to their daily work.
In addition, living in rural areas usually sometimes gives rise to situations that family members should do something together. For example, when I was a high school student, my family lived in rural area. the place did not have several things, such as theater, shopping malls and big supermarket. Frankly, there was no such a thing to enjoy. Ironically, that time, I was very enjoyable because of my family. bBecause of the absence of theater, I had to watched a movie what I want to watch. Assume that situation I watched a movie in the living room. wWhenever I watched a movie, my parents and my brother should be effected on the noise of television. that made them get out of their room, and in turn, our living room became a little theater made by me. After that time, we watched a movie together in our living room every weekends. Feature that rural area do not have enjoyable places leads to the result which our family spend time together and interact with each other.
In conclusion, I support opinion that people who live in countryside take better care of their families than people living in cities. It is my belief that my opinion regarding this topic has been efficiently and precisely delivered with the reasons above.
Fair (17-23)
첫번째 본문 -동사 필요. 이 경우에는 are이 적합합니다. -내용상, it is diffult for people to 가 필요합니다. 어렵다는 내용이 나와야합니다. -take care of 구문 -대소문자 오류 -communicate with구문
두번째 본문 -living이 주어이므로 give-->gives -대소문자 오류 -get out of ~에서 나오다 -interact with -leads to
두 본문 다 내용 괜찮습니다. 전치사의 적절한 사용과 대소문자 오류 많습니다. 연습하시고 개선해주세요. 적절한 구문 암기해주세요.
수고하셨습니다~~
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