▶ Your Answer :
Considering the issue given in the
question, there are some people who believe that having a job is disturbed to
do study. suggesting that if teenagers have job, they cannot catch up with
their study. At first, from my initial impression, their position appeared to
be sensible and appealing, however, with proper balancing the matter, they seem
to be missing something more important. My view on the issue is that working
jobs can help student growing other ability. This idea is to be discussed based
on the two perspectives. Teenagers relieve stress from too much study, and
besides, they can experience something except of study in the school. First, one of the most noteworthy point is
that students who hate study and life in the school get rid of these element of
stress. Regarding this idea, albeit there should be pros and cons, and at the
same time, proponents and opponents, however, I have many references to support
and confirm the pros, and the following example lies in the case of me. When I
was at the high school, I was working at the Taekwondo gym. In the gym, I
taught middle school students who want to change the color of belt. For me, teaching
was a very rewarding job and I relieved stress which gave me in the school. One more cause for my belief is that they
can get other experience that cannot feel in the school. After a meticulous
contemplation on the questioned issue, I have found many reasonable examples to
weaken the belief of the opponents. The one special example, which comes to my
mind at first and most strongly, is the story of me, as well. When I was at the
high school, I was having voluntary service that could help sick people. I talked
to the sick people and helped with cleaning and washing. Accordingly, I vowed
to be a person to help more people. It’s the time to expand my view. It is sure that every idea or thinking has
its flaws, and we all know that nothing can be perfect. However, as far as it
is concerned about the question, the evidence to support the thesis of this
writing is overwhelming: Teenagers relieve stress from life of student. Besides,
they can get something that they could not experience anywhere. These two
reasons are making the idea crystal clear that working jobs can help student
growing other ability.
첨삭해주셔서 정말 감사드립니다. |