There might be some people who believe that after graduating from high
school, students should take a year off to
travel or to work before going to college.
Likewise, I agree with the above idea for two subsequence reasons. Firstly, it
can relieve a lot of stress. Secondly, it is very helpful for relationships.
To begin with, taking a year off before going to college could reduce
stress. Students are usually stressed out after the because of college entrance exam in
cutthroat competition. They could forget about this stress and feel refreshed; so, it would motivate students to study harder. What
this means is that they will concentrate well at study after a year.
There is a recent survey done by Korea University professor Kim. He
investigated people who consisted of people who took a taking a year off to
travel or to work before going to college. 80%
of respondents said that they could have adapted were able to adapt well in college life after graduating from high
school. This was due to the fact that it the
year off could give gave students a great motivation to study.
On top of that, most students can make a good relationship with their
friends. It could help them to socialize. There are is huge difference between life in high school and
that in college. The former is passive but the latter is active. so, Therefore, students can upgrade their social skills by
being involved with same activities with other people and it would be a great
time for them. I will bring up my personal story as an example. When I had a
part time job at a coffee shop after graduating from high school, I created fun
memories and interacted with so many people. As a result, I could increase my
conversation skills. And I became was able to
make many friends easily after then. If I had not gotten a part time job at
that time, I would be very introverted now.
As I mentioned above,
it (마지막에 it이 무엇인지 다시 한 번 적어주세요) can not only reduce
stress, but also make a good relationship with other people. In this regard, I
strongly believe that it is important for students to take a year off to travel
or to work before going to college after
graduating from high school.
Writing
0-30 Score Scale |
Fair (17-23) |
Score |
22 |
Overall
Comment: |
포인트를 잘 잡고 예시도 좋지만,
문법 오류가 잦아서 감점을 드렸습니다. 위 지적사항들을 참고하세요. |
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