▶ Your Answer :
It is of great worth to discuss whether or
not parents should encourage their children to take a part-time job for their
future. While some people agree with whit the statement, others might disagree with
it. As far as I am concerned, I agree with the notion that it is the best way for
parents to encourage their children to have a part-time job as for the following reasons.
First of all, part-time job plays an
important role in broadening children’s perspective. This is mainly because
they can be easily exposed to the fields and studies that they have never known
before while interacting and socializing with customer and co-worker who have
different interest and talents. Consequently, children can take a quantum leap in
intellectual growth thanks to part-time job. From my experience, when I was in
college, (Not related with case of teenage) I always spent my spare time working in Pizza Hut as a part-time job
to paid tuition for 2 years. As a result, I could learn
about a wide variety of unique regional cultures such as music and dialects
by talking with customer and sharing with colleague. Without my part-time job,
I would not have broad perspective.
On top
of that, taking a part-time job is directly correlated to success in career. To
be specific, having a part-time job helps children to develop the ability to collaborate
with others. Moreover, as modern society is becoming increasingly specialized
and competitive, today’s job markets require job candidates with such qualities.
A few weeks ago, I had a chance to read an op-ed piece which was related to the
topic. It describes the result of a survey conducted by Seoul National
University in 2015. In the survey, the employment interview was the most important
component in hiring practices, taking up more than 70 percent of final call.
The interviewers looked at the applicant’s knowledge and skills related to the
capability to cooperate with others. This implies that having a part-time job
is a secure way for children to prepare for the future.
To sum
up, taking a part-time job helps children to develop their perspective and
promote success in career. For these reasons, I strongly agree with the
statement that parents can help their children
prepare for their future by encouraging them to have a part-time job.
채점기준표 | Grammar | Contents | Example | Coherence | 점수 | 3 | 3 | 2 | 2 | Score | Fair 17-19 | - children만 쓰시는 것보단, teenage children or teenager 로 특정나이대를 언급해주시는 것이 좋습니다. - 두 번째 예시는 불필요한 부분으로 대부분 구성이 되어있는 것 같아요. 정확히 핵심을 담은 예시를 서술해주시는 것이 좋습니다.
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