Letting children
watch television could be a controversial matter for parents. Some people think
it is okay to let children watch television while others don’t. I believe both
sides have their own reasons to support their views. If I were asked to choose
between two options, I would say it is beneficial for children to watch
television. There are two reasons as follows. (good!)
To begin with,
watching television enables children to relax and recharge their batteries
after a long day at school. When children are recharged, they are likely to
have more energy to put into studying and being active. For example, Oxford
University found a huge difference between two groups of children in academic
performance. One group consisted of children who had spent an hour of watching
television after school every day. The other group was made up of children who
had not been allowed to spend time watching television. The researchers found
out that the former group was more likely to have a better score in their
midterm and final exam than the latter. In particular, the first group showed a longer attention span, a stronger passion in their
tasks, and a better ability to delay gratification. On the other hand, the
latter group tended to get distracted easily, procrastinate, and act on
impulse. This implies that a diversion is the key to success. Without
refreshing themselves, people would fall behind.
Second, watching television allows children to know
current events around the world. Broadening children’s view could help them to
develop a wide range of perspectives as they
could talk and exchange opinions with their friends and parents. Through interacting
with others on a certain subject, children would
accumulate the knowledge of other people’s view and it will help them to better
understand the way of the world. For example, my younger brother did used to do poorly in elementary school. However, he
changed little by little after he started to watch television. He realized that
he could move forward by taking recognizing the
latest events around the world through watching television.
As he started to search for more information about the world events, he become available
able to talk about
many subjects with a lot of people. By doing that, he could better understand
the world and learned how to utilize his knowledge. Eventually, he got better
grades in school. If my younger brother were was
not allowed to watch television, he would have fallen behind.
To sum up,
I believe children should be allowed to watch television everyday as it helps
them to refresh and broaden their views. All in
all, letting children watching television should not be overlooked.
Writing
0-30 Score Scale |
Good (24-30) |
Score |
27 |
Overall
Comment: |
Excellent! 템플릿 활용이
매우 좋았어요. 아쉬운 점은 본문 마지막 문단에서 문법 오류가 조금 있었다는 점 입니다. 위 지적사항들을 참고하세요. |
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