▶ Your Answer :
Some
people might say that it is more important for teachers to be experts in their
fields than to connect with students. However, I think that connecting with
students is more important role of teachers. This is because the ability of
conveying knowledge is the most important ability of teachers, and the
interaction between teachers and students can motivate students to enjoy their
school life.
To begin
with, the most important ability of teachers is conveying knowledge to
students, not being experts. As the teacher is not a researcher, the ability
that required to them is conveying the knowledge properly. For example, when I
was a middle school student, I had an opportunity to be taught by the most
popular expert of Korean history. However, when I took his lecture actually, it
was too bored and hard to concentrate on. It is Bbecause
he is was not good at interacting with
students. Eventually, the students who were
taking the lecture lost their interests and there was no conspicuous outcome
after the lecture.
On the
top of that, the connections between teachers and students can encourage
students to enjoy their school life. The students can learn to be more active
for the interactions with teachers. For instance, there was a poll conducted by
Gallup Korea with 5,000 of middle school students as respondents. The purpose
of the poll was to understand the consensus view about the importance of the
experience taught by an great expert. The majority of respondents ranked
the good relationships with teachers over expertise of teachers. The
overwhelming 88% had responded that it is important to make relationships with
teachers since the one-way teaching is not interesting and they can also learn
how to interact with other students and employees in school, not only teachers.
This shows that students have a positive view of teachers’ ability of connecting with students.
To sum up, the expertise without the ability of connecting
with students can make students to lose t
their interests to class, and interacting between teachers and students can
encourage students to have more meaningful school life. In this regard, I
firmly believe that connecting with students is more important for teachers
than being experts in their fields.
Good (24–30) 첫번째 본문 -his는 소유격이므로 문맥상 어울리지 않습니다. 따라서 he로 바꾸어주세요. -주어+동사 because 주어+동사 또는/ Because 주어+동사, 주어+동사 로 써주세요.
두번째 본문 -모음이 아닌 글자 앞에는 an-->a -마지막 문장 선생님들의 능력이므로 소유격으로 써주세요. ' 추가
결론 -to 부정사는 to+동사 원형으로 써주세요.
수고하셨습니다~~
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