▶ Your Answer :
There might be some people who
believe that knowing about current issues can make the more great future.
However, I disagree with the above idea for two following reasons. First,
people, these days are very busy with their work and study. Second, even if
people do not concern about latest events, they can learn about the events
later when they need the information. To begin with, everyone is so
busy these days and they are under a lot of stress due to the competitiveness
of society. This demonstrates that they do not have enough time to have
concerns about current issues. If the issues do not affect their daily life, it
is more important to skip them and have more time to relieve their stress. For
example, a survey conducted by Gallup to understand consensus view about importance of how
important knowledge about current events. The majority of people responded that
their personal rest time randed over concerning the issues as the more
important factor of their life. This is because the majority of the issues are
so serious that make them get stressed. On the other hand, by ignoring the
issues, they can relieve their minds more effectively. On top of that, due to the fact
that people can access to a lot of information by using diverse devices, people
do not have to be interested in events happening around the world right now.
Whenever people need some knowledge about a certain event, they can get related
information with their laptops, and smartphones and so on. This means that they
do not need to worry about the events around them. Taking my personal experience
can be used as an example. In my case, I do not care what current society are progressed.
However, I can access to any events in the world whenever I want. For example,
when I had an assignment to write an essay about the most important issue at
that time in my history class of university, I got A score even if I had not
known about any special story of society. This is because I could get a lot of
articles and news on the Internet. It proves that it does not make any problems
not to know about current issues.
In conclusion, people do not
need to know about the current event, since they need to have some time to
clear their head and relieve themselves and they can get information about the
events anytime thanks to developed technology. In this regard, I want to
recommend to never mind society's serous issues and have an attention to your
own life.
Good (24–30) 첫번째 본문 - ~의 중요성이라는 표현은 importance of ~ 로 해주세요.
두번째 본문 -본문 중간에, 동사가 없어서 불완전한 문장입니다. 주어+동사 다 포함된 문장만이 홀로 있을 수 있습니다.
내용은 둘 다 괜찮습니다. 문법 실수 연습해주세요. 수고하셨습니다~
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