▶ Your Answer :
There is an argument about which factor people should put more weight on in order to succeed between superficial looks and great ideas. In fact, I strongly believe that a person's good looks influences his success more than his ideas. To begin with, the first impression plays a decisive role in many places where people work or have a job interview. Basically, a person's first impression tends to be rather instinctively judged within less than thirty minutes, but deeply ingrained in the mind of others. Therefore, a person's good looks and fashionable attire are highly likely to lead to making a good first impression. As an illustration, there are two candidates applying for the same position at a bank. One person has a dark grey suit, a tie and leather shoes. He also made time to go to a hair shop to have his hair neatly done. On the other hand, the other applicant wears a T-shirt with obscene graphics, shorts, and flip flops. Then, there would be no surprise that the former has a higher chance of being chosen, because he could impress his interviewers with his good looks. In short, a good impression definitely results from looking nice, which conclusively can be an effective weapon for success. Another thing to remember is that a person's attractive looks can even contribute to his job performance enhancement. To explain, no matter how excellent a person's ability is, it is next to impossible for him to achieve a great accomplishment without others' help and cooperation in modern society. This is because one business is usually separated into a great many departments and every single department should have workers to that interact well with each other. In other words, workers in each part have to communicate with and help each other. In this aspect, a person with good looks will have an advantage over others. To be specific, people tend to be interested in and care about others who they take a liking to and, as I have mentioned before, who they are favorably impressed by. As a result, a person with attractive appearance has a more likelihood of getting help, and convincing others to his favor in many business processes. In addition to this, he will receive good reputations among co-workers as well, allowing him to be promoted faster than others. Therefore, if a person do not try to improve his appearance, he would fall behind in the pursuit of success in modern society. To sum up, It is reasonable to say that how a person looks and dresses are fairly related to his social and occupational achievement.
채점기준표 | Grammar | Contents | Example | Coherence | 점수 | 4 | 4 | 3 | 3 | Score | Good 22-25 | - 두 번째 논지에서 part라는 부분을 상세히 describe해주시는 것이 좋습니다. - 어휘사용도 뛰어나고 아이디어도 좋습니다. 다만 두 번째 예시에서 attractive look과 performance의 상관관계 설명에서 다소 아쉬운 느낌이 있어요. |
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