▶ Topic : The lecturer argues that raising tax of tobacco is not effective. This contradicts the reading passage's claim that increasing tax of tobacco is good for several reasons.
Firstly, the lecturer maintains that increasing tax of tobacco does not have potential about for halting young people's smoking. By and large, Iit is not going to work because of the black market. According to the study, a lot of teenagers are trying to buy cigarette in there and Iit is actually cheaper than taxing cigarette. So, Iit is easy to buy. 이 부분 내용 더 간단하게 줄여주면 좋을 것 같아요. 십대는 사실 블랙마켓에서 담배를 더 싼 값에 구입하기 때문에 일반 시장에서 판매되는 담배에 세금을 부과해서 가격을 높이는 것은 소용이 없다는 요지가 드러나게끔 정리해주세요. This casts doubt on the reading passage's claim that Iif the government raises tobacco's tax, young people would stop to start smoking.
Secondly, the lecturer contends that Iit does not help to recover rebound damage on the environment. In general, people are not likely to buy expensive cigarettes so sales of them it is going to can be lower than before. Thus, the government will not be able to get enough money to plant trees and flowers that at the end of it does not help to repair damaged environment. This refutes the reading passage's claim that raising tax will result in decreasing damage on the environment.
Finally, the lecturer asserts that poverty may get worse than before. Generally, cigarettes usually help to create many jobs so Iif the tax is were going up, a lot of people will would be going to be losing lose there their jobs as making cigarettes has a lot of process so It have created many jobs opportunities. Therefore the situation will be going to be worse. This counters the reading passage's claim that increasing tax of tobacco helps to decrease poverty.
Comment : 두 지문이 대립되는 지점들을 아주 잘 파악하신 것 같아요. 내용을 서술할 때 불필요하게 길어지는 부분들을 정돈하고 명확하게 핵심만 드러나도록 다듬어준다면 훨씬 좋은 점수대의 답변이 될 거예요. 대소문자 오류, 문법오류가 많은 편이니 정확한 문장구사도 신경써주세요~ 수고 많으셨습니다~!
Integrated Writing Rubrics Score 3/5 A response at this level contains some important information from the lecture and conveys some relevant connection to the reading, but it is marked by one or more of the following : - Although the overall response is definitely oriented to the task, it conveys only vague, global, unclear, or somewhat imprecise connection of the points made in the lecture to points made in the reading. - The response may omit one major key point made in the lecture. - Some key points made in the lecture or the reading, or connections between the two, may be incomplete, inaccurate, or imprecise. - Errors of usage and/or grammar may be more frequent or may result in noticeably vague expressions or obscured meanings in conveying ideas and connections. |