■ Direction Read the question below. You have 30 minutes to plan, write, and revise your essay. Typically, an effective response will contain a minimum of 300 words. ■ Question Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Use specific reason and examples to support your answer |
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▶ Topic :
Children
should have art and music as mandatory school subjects along with math,
history, science, and language.
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▶ Your Answer :
Some
people look down on subjects like art and music because they are not ‘productive’
or ‘useful’ as they think, however, I consider that art and music plays a significant
role especially to children. There are several reasons as follows.
To
begin with, the school is like a miniature society for children. In school,
children learn how to engage with others and gain fundamental knowledge. The
purpose of learning subjects like math, history, science, and language is to be
able to understand the world and its mechanism in their own view. Teaching art
and music to children will lead to better understanding the world, cultivates
creativity, and broaden the perspective as well. For example, when I was young,
I had a chance to join the private institute of painting class. This experience
had a great impact on me even now. Because these learning experience helped me
to perform better in school and associating the complicated or abstract ideas.
To be specific, through drawing and imaging my own stories in art class made
possible for me to understand the concept of infinity in math class. For example,
It was easy for me to come up with the hotel room full of visitors numbered one
to infinity. And as the room number one customer checks out, the rest of the entire
people should move to the previous room. Likewise, if there were challenging
science methods or delicate concept of mathematics, drawing always made
everything easier.
To
sum up, I firmly believe that educating art and music in school will help the
children in other areas. As I mentioned above, they are different and creative
language in other forms. Therefore, they should be mandatory along with other
subjects like math, history, science, and language in school without a doubt.
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안녕하세요. 에세이 첨삭부탁드립니다.
본문 내용이 너무 장황하진 않은지, 논리전개가 괜찮은지 봐주세요.
또한 시간이 없어 바디 한개밖에 쓰지 못했는데, 충분한지도 피드백 부탁드립니다. 감사합니다!