▶ Your Answer :
disagree There are some people who believe that huaman activities considerably contribute to better the Earth by improving the surrounding of people. However, I personally disgree with the above idea and strongly asserts that human activities have a nagative effect on the environment for the subsequent reasons. First, active development of the Earth is a cause of the climate change on the Earth. Second, human effort to improve the Earth make a huge threat for all organism. First of all, human acitivities is a main culprit of changing the Eath's climate by contaminating the Earth. This is because many kinds of pollutants coming from factories bring about carbon emission, resulting in fatal fetal threat to all living organisms partaining human beings. This can be illustrated by a study conducted by the National Association of Global Climate. The result of study pointed out human activities accelerates the climate change called Global Warming. According to the report, the sign of global warming has emerged all around the world. The cause of global warming is carbon emissions of vehicles and power plants. Natural disaster resulting from global warming has taken a significant toll on economy and health. In order to sustain humanity, people are taking several actions. A huge amount of money is invested by the government and NGO organization. Increasing number of people makes dedicated efforts such as taking public transport and making use of bicycle instead of their private car. The researcher stressed that the reduction of carbon emission would delay the environmental phenomenon. On top of that, human's indiscriminate exploitation causes the extinction of diverse organisms. This is due to the fact that human activities such as mass-scaled poaching and building huge dam make many creatures lose their own shelter. To be specific, on the movie, 'A tear of Amazon', shows a wide variety of adverse effects resulting from human acitivities. Many species are threatened with extinction because of deforestration. Two thirds of the region has been deforested in the past decade. By losing shelther, many creatures have already extincted and been in danger. The big problem is that mankind is not free from that threat too. When a species has disapeared, this affects all kind of organisms in terms of food chain. So, unbalanced ecology makes it difficult to survive. Not only that, many traditional cultures in the region lose their own life style they have kept for thousands of years. Although, people make a money from developing the environment, I cannot say that the advance of human activities always improves the Earth considering these many side effects. To sum up, the more people expaned, the worse the condition of the evironment is. People promote global warming and threaten themselves as well as other organisms. This improvement on the Earth is not advancement but a huge retreat, which protend the end of human beings.
Good (24–30) 서론 -철자 오류
첫번째 본문 -치명적인-fatal -파란 부분 의미를 알 수 없습니다. -같은 문단 안에서 줄바꿈하지 말아주세요.
두번째 본문 -species 단/복수 형태 같습니다.
결론 -파란 부분 의미를 알 수 없습니다.
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