▶ Your Answer :
Various opinions exist over the argument that
how one wears shows his or her personality. As far as I am concerned, I totally
disagree with the argument. The two ideas state below can be valid evidence to
support my point of view.
First and foremost, people have to dress
differently depending on different situations. To be specific, there are strict
regulations that people must obey not to give bad impression to other people. For
instance, students are required allowed to wear school uniforms at schools and businessmen businessman
are allowed to wear formal clothes such as suits and a with neckties neck ties on. Since
people sometimes have to dress in a certain way even though it does not match his or her style, it is difficult to know people’s characteristic by looking at
their clothing. In this respect, it is hard to say that the way people wear shows their his or her characteristic because people wear differently according to
specific situation.
On top of that, people choose their
wardrobe based on what is fashionable rather than a desire to express their
personality. To be specific, people have a desire to keep up with the fashion
trend because they do not want to lag behind others. Therefore, it is more
likely that people will follow that fashion trend rather than to follow their
own styles. For instance, recently, a Korean drama has gained popularity among young
people. The principle character’s clothes became a “must-have item”. At a
relatively short period of time, the items flew off the shelves in the
department stores. Only a minority of people dressed in their own style without
following the fashion fad. Therefore, it is was not fair to say that people’s
fashion, who dressed almost the same, adequately illustrates illustrated their complete
personality. In this regard, since fashion trend is what determines people to
dress, it is difficult for to know one's his or her personality by looking at their his or her clothing.
결론 문단 만들어주세요
Comment : 주제에 대한 나의 입장이 일관성 있게 잘 드러나는 답안입니다. 입장을 뒷받침하는 각 주장들도 잘 생각해주신 것 같아요. 영문에세이에서는 두괄식 문형을 선호하니 '사람들이 상황에 따라 다르게 입는다'라는 문장보다는 '성격보다 상황에 따라 의복 선택에 영향을 더 많이 받기 때문에 옷을 통해 그 사람의 성격을 알아보기는 어렵다'하는 식으로 주장으로 정리된 문장을 문두에 놓아주세요. 전체적으로 주장과 설명, 사례를 잘 구성해주셨습니다. 결론 문단도 보완해서 글을 완성해주세요. 수고 많으셨습니다~! Independent Writing Rubrics Score 4/5 An essay at this level largely accomplishes all of the following : - Addresses the topic and task well, though some points may not be fully elaborated (완벽하지는 않지만 문제의 요구사항을 대부분 잘 해결함) - Is generally well organized and well developed, using appropriate and sufficient explanations, exemplifications and/or details (적절하고 충분한 설명과 예시를 사용하며 대체로 글의 구성과 전개방식이 양호함) - Displays unity, progression and coherence, though it may contain occasional redundancy, digression, or unclear connections (중복된 내용이나 관련 없는 내용, 불분명한 연결이 있을 수 있으나 통일성, 연속성, 일관성이 드러남) - Displays facility in the use of language, demonstrating syntactic variety and range of vocabulary, though it will probably have occasional noticeable minor errors in structure, word form or use of idiomatic language that do not interfere with meaning (글의 의미를 손상시키지 않는 범위 내에서 사소한 문장구조, 단어 형태 오류를 보일 수 있으나, 전반적으로 어휘・통사적 다양성을 갖춘 유창한 언어 사용을 보임)
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