▶ Your Answer : Nowadays, people are living in a world of meritocracy where
competitions happen anywhere. Even our friends easily become our rivals, so many
people suffer from physical and mental stress, complaining that competitions
are of no benefit to their friendship. However, I believe that competition in
the midst of friends are actually effective for maintain good relationships
with friends.
First and foremost, competitions among friends
have a positive effect on relationship, because they it works as the impetus for students both
to work hard. Modern society admittedly requires people to surpass others in
performance. To be more specific, showing better results or a proven record is a necessary qualification for any being a successful person. Therefore, given the need
for constant improvement, participating competitions and stimulating each other
can be helpful in building a stronger relationship, since it provides them with
the perfect opportunities to have mutual improvement. (Good point) My personal experience
can be illustrated to prove this point. When I was in high school, I often had fierce
competitions with one of my friends. (About what? Academically?) We checked the time spent to finish the
tasks, and we compared our scores and even the sleeping hours. It forced me to
work harder. As a consequence, both of us entered the prestigious universities,
and we still keep in touch, feeling grateful to each other. Based on these
considerations and my experience, I believe that competitions among friends
have positive effect on relationship.
In
addition, the experience of competing with friends can usher people into the
right direction by teaching them precious lessons and the true value of
friendship. Some people are immature to have thorough understanding of life and
are likely to destroy relationships when under competitions. However, going
through the same experience with friends might offer chances for maturation and
enlighten them about important values so that they can become a better person.
For instance, my sister had strong competitiveness, so she wasn’t able to accept
her failure after the competition. She either cried or shouted to express her
madness. However, she got to know a new friend of her class, and often had small
competitions with her, like playing tennis or so. Gradually, she got used to
the competitions, (Especially what point?) and she is now able to think rationally of the results no matter
how they are. Her maturation made her a friendly person, consequently harden
her relationship with her friend. It seems obvious that competitions among
friends attribute to their good relationships.
To sum up, I believe that competition in the
midst of friends are actually effective for maintain good emotional bonds with
friends, for it help people to mature and improve themselves. Consequently, the
importance of my view cannot be underestimated for the reasons I have mentioned
above.
채점기준표 | Grammar | Contents | Example | Coherence | 점수 | 4 | 4
| 3 | 4 | Score | Good 24-30 |
- mutual improvement라는 부분이 좋은 포인트였습니다.
- 첫 번째는 good competition, healthy relationship이라는 부분을 더욱 강조해주시면 좋겠습니다. - 어떠한 competition을 하였는지 상세히 밝혀주세요.
|
|