▶ Your Answer :
Some people may argue that people today spend too much time doing things for their
pleasure rather than things that they should. (today people usually
spend time with enjoyment which is preferred by them.) However, in my opinion, it is not true because people don’t have
the time to do that. It is because people are always busy working. (Because
today people are busy in their job they usually spend time with their
assignment. This is because they are living in severe competition and today
economy is bad.)
Nowadays, people are living in a highly competitive society. (severe
competition.) As a result, they usually spend a lot
of time working in order to be more successful
than others. (with allocated work or assignment for the win in the
competition.) This is because people believe that they can get more opportunities when
they work harder. (when people work
harder than others they can get a lot of opportunities.) For example, when people work hard and bring good results to the
company, they get promoted. (in the company work much they can make a
lot of lucrative results. Therefore, they can get a good opportunity for
promotion from the company in the severe competition.) For this reason, they could not usually spend time on personal (with) enjoyment.
Today’s
economy is bad. People have to work to make a
living. (This situation makes it necessary for people to work for making
money.) People need to save money to prepare for
unexpected situations. That is why I believe
that people spend more time working than on entertainment. For example, imagine
that someone gets laid off. That person needs some time to find another job,
but he or she still has bills to pay. For this reason, people should work
harder to save money than spending time for fun.
(Living people in the situation of unpredicted economy
always should save money as much as possible. As a result, they are living more
with work for surviving than enjoying.) For example, the company in bad economy
conduct frequently the reconstructing. And, sometimes the reconstructing causes
a problem such as firing people. Fired people need time for getting new job
with living expenses. For this reason, they should invest their time more for
earning money than spending enjoyable time.)
Therefore, people
nowadays do not have time to enjoy their lives because they are too busy working.
This is because the society is too competitive and the economy is bad.
(today people busy in their
job they usually spend time with their assignment. This is because they are
living in severe competition and today economy is bad.)
Writing
Score (0-30): 11-12
Score
(0-5): 1.50-1.75
Grammar
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