▶ Your Answer :
Opinions might be divided over whether people like eating out at restaurant or at home. People may take diverse positions on the controversial issue according to the ages or occupation. I side with the perspective that it is better to eat food at home for the two reasons; it not only saves time but also can be convenient.
To begin with, people can spend less money if they have a meal at home. Generally, eating out at restaurants would require more money than eating at home. If people choose to eat at home, they can save extra budget in later. Let me bring up my personal story as an example. (Let 형태의 문장은 구어체이므로 사용을 지양해주세요.) For example, last week, I took a decision to eat out at restaurant with my girlfriend. My girlfriend looked forward to having a special meal at that time. However, I felt so much disappointed about the restaurant because the restaurant meal was exorbitantly expensive. If I had chosen eating at home, I would not have so disappointed at that time. The same applies to most people like me. (집에서 식사를 해서 비용을 절약한 예시가 논리의 흐름에 더 적합합니다. 예시를 재구성해주세요)
On top of that, it is more convenient to stay at home for meals. It is inconvenient for people to prepare and go outside in order to have a meal. To be specific, they have to wash and put on their nice dresses. The preparation is often so bothersome that people usually hesitate going out. There are many articles which reaffirm my viewpoint. A few weeks ago, I read an op-ed pieces from the Korea Herald that is related to the topic. The article described the result of a survey, which was conducted by Seoul National University social science researchers with more than 500 people as respondents. The purpose of the survey was to understand the consensus view about contentment when they eat out at restaurants. Of the 500 people surveyed, over 80 percent answered that they were inconvenient. They went on to say that they were not satisfied about going outside to eat. (구체적으로 왜 집에서 식사가 더 편하고 레스토랑에서 왜 불편했는지 설문자들의 답변을 나열해주세요) This clearly proves that what eating at home would be more contented be taken for granted.
As I mentioned above, based on the two reasons (라고 작성하지 마시고 작성한 이유를 요약해서 적어주세요), I can conclude that eating at home is more reasonable choice than eating out.
Writing 0–30 score scale: Limited (1-16) / Fair (17-23) / Good (24–30)
ADDRESSING TOPIC
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ORGANIZATION
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PROGRESSION AND COHERENCE
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LANGUAGE USE
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GRAMMAR
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GOOD
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FAIR
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FAIR
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FAIR
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GOOD
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각 카테고리별 SCORE: LIMITED / FAIR / GOOD
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